


Gorgeous boy

by Lica_K, roundest_boi



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom
Genre: Drama, Drinks, Drunk Sex, Happy ending for everyone (spoiler: end with spacedogs), Light drug use (by Charlie), M/M, Nigel ends up falling in love with an American, Of course the American is Charlie, Romance, Sex, no gabi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lica_K/pseuds/Lica_K, https://archiveofourown.org/users/roundest_boi/pseuds/roundest_boi
Summary: Nigel did not know why whenever he saw that strange and funny American he had this unknown desire to help him. After all, how could he be any different from the rest? Yes, he was a crap tourist that looked more lost than anyone else. Even so, when he saw him with that silly, passionate look, Nigel smiled unconsciously thinking it wouldn't be so bad if someone looked at him the same way. Especially if the person was that funny American.
Relationships: Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Adam Raki, Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Charlie Countryman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Gorgeous boy

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written by me and Hanni (@killerdialecter)  
> This story basically started from the idea if in the movie "Charlie Countryman" Nigel was interested in Charlie and not in Gabi. I ended up having this idea when I was watching the movie trailer for the first time. With the help of my dear friend Hanni, we wrote this wonderful story together. We hope you like it! Feel free to leave comments.

Nigel felt an urge to smoke right now, but Darko was in the habit of starting to curse him whenever he smoked in his club office, which was exactly where he was at the moment while boredly watching the crowd below.

Another boring day watching boring people…

Darko said that "boring" was a good thing for people like them. That meant business was going well, the fucking police wasn't getting in the way, and everything was going according to plan. So "boring" was a synonymous to "good".

To hell with the fucking “boring” and the fucking “good” crap! People like them needed a lot more than that. People like Nigel needed a little fun, preferably with a side of violence and good drinks to down it with, to keep him from wanting to kill or hit the first person who came in front of him because of his boredom.

As Darko continued to speak on his phone, Nigel began to consider which options would make his friend angrier: smoking right there or going down the stairs and hitting the first idiot he met.

That was when he saw something in the crowd below. Something that would probably never get his attention if he wasn't so bored. Sonja, one of Darko's employees who worked at the bar, was arguing with a skinny boy with funny hair. Nigel couldn't be sure exactly what was going on, because the two were at the farthest point from the bar with respect to where he were, but he recognized an argument when he saw one.

He always believed that there was nothing more beautiful and sexy than seeing a really angry woman looking like she’s about to kill someone with her bare hands. And that was exactly how Sonja appeared to be while shouting at the boy's face, who seemed to have no idea of the danger he was in. On the contrary, he seemed... to be begging? What the fuck? Jesus! The boy was a fucking idiot for even thinking that woman could be convinced to do anything by someone like him.

An amused smile curved his lips as he continued to watch the fight go on, but unfortunately it didn't last as long as he would have liked because Sonja put a drink in front of the boy and then disappeared to meet other customers - or just to get away from him.

The boy continued to watch her from afar, but was content with the drink she had put in front of him. After finishing his drink, he placed the money on the counter, rising from his chair to disappear into the crowd until he reached the exit door and left.

The next day, the boy returned. Just like in every other day for the next week.

The boy could be a complete idiot for continuing to act that way knowing full well that he would always receive the same response from Sonja, however... Nigel was forced to admit that he admired his persistence. If he were more honest with himself, he would realize that every day watching that boy being rejected made him more and more curious. Curious to know how long the boy could bear to repeat that same routine before his heart was totally broken by the coldness of that russian woman. Curious to know how long this foolish love would last.

The most important part was that all the boredom that had been annoying him for months had almost completely disappeared. Even Darko had noticed this difference in his behavior, when he was surprised that his friend never complained again. When he asked the reason for this sudden "good mood", Nigel just said he found something interesting.

“What do you know about that boy who always comes after Sonja?” Nigel was unable to contain his curiosity, especially after Darko had meddled in the matter.

“Ah! The American?” he asked as he remembered who the friend was referring to. “Yes, he really is an interesting boy, but a imbecile for not accepting reality. It even gives a little pity.” they were both looking at the crowd below, specifically in the direction in which the boy they were referring to was again sitting in his usual spot at the bar. “I believe he came here with some friends a few months ago and ended up falling in love with Sonja.”

“What? Like love at first fucking sight? Really?” Nigel laughed, finding it all stupid.

In response, the man beside him just shrugged as if to say "What to do? Happens" and for some reason that make Nigel even more incredulous. All that insistence and willpower because of bullshit like love at first fucking sight? Unfuckingbelievable.

“Do you know the idiot's name?” he asked trying to look as uninterested as possible.

“Jack? Chuck?” while Darko tried to remember the name, Nigel considered hitting him on the head to see this would help him regain his memory. “I honestly don't remember. Ask Sonja, she will definitely be able to answer you.” he laughed returning to his desk. “That's if she isn't angry enough to tell you to fuck off.”

“Yeah, yeah… fuck you too.”

Darko laughed at his friend's response and returned his attention to his "boring" tasks and Nigel continued to look at the American, who this time was resting his chin on both arms on the bench looking towards the russian woman. For some reason, he felt a strong urge to watch the boy's facial expression closely.

“I will drink something from the bar.” he said, already starting to head for the stairs. “Do you want me to bring you something?” he asked, turning to Darko.

“No, but I thank you for asking. You are really in a good mood.” he laughed happily without taking his eyes off the papers he read. “Promise me that you won't create trouble down there.”

“Sure.” he agreed to then turn his back and go down the stairs, but not before giving his friend a finger. “I will have no fucking reason to make trouble if no one messes the fuck with me.”

Down there, in the crowd, Nigel looked at the bar in search of the best place to sit where he could see the American, but the boy couldn't see him. Although he doubted the boy would be interested in anyone other than "his love at first sight". He smiled when he found a perfect place. After driving out a skinny, almost skeletal boy, who was sitting in the seat saying he was in his place, Nigel sat in the newly vacant seat and continued to look at the American.

“Nigel, what a surprise to see you here.” listening to the female voice in a russian accent, Nigel smiled, wondering if it was a coincidence or something of fate. “I thought Darko had forbidden you to walk around here after that last mess.”

“I promised to behave.” he replied smiling in the way that only he could do when he was in a good mood. “It's not like he could put a leash on me and hope that I stayed up there forever.” the two laughed together. “Give me some vodka with lemon, please. I don't want to take too much of your time.”

“Not at all, you are really going to be helping me by letting me stay here a little longer.” she said looking behind her, then looking at Nigel again. “For one day, I would like him to give me a fucking break.” she walked away to get his drink and as soon as it was ready, she put it in front of him.

“You look upset... what's up?” Nigel asked innocently, drinking some of his drink. “Is some asshole pissing you off? I'm sure Drako or one of the security guards would love to fix the idiot, you just have to say the word.” he gave a slight wink with his right eye. “Or if you prefer... I'll take care of the poor guy myself.”

“It's nothing like that.” she laughed trying to explain. “He's just a silly boy who doesn't seem to understand what a “no” mean. He's a good boy, someone good to talk to, but far from having a more serious relationship.” the woman sighed, as if she were tired.

“Really? So why don't you just fucking reject him and everyone can go back to their fucking life?” he drank some more of his drink. “Problem solved, Princess.”

“If it were that simple… That would work for any other idiot, but not for Charlie.” the American boy's name did not go unnoticed by Nigel, although he still continues to act as if he is not interested. “He's the type of person that when he falls in love... it's hard to change his mind. It would be cute and sweet if the person he likes felt the same way.” she smiled at Nigel. “Thanks for the talk, Nigel. Enjoy your drink.”

Nigel smiled and lifted his drink before Sonja disappeared to serve other customers. He took another sip of his drink before he dared to look in the direction where the American was. Charlie, as Sonja had said, was distracting himself with his drink glass already empty. Looking even younger than he already looked. Nigel laughed to himself about this fact drinking a little more before noticing the instant change in the boy's expression when he saw Sonja approaching where he was.

How could he fucking describe that? He really couldn't help noticing his passionate feelings for that woman when he saw that silly expression that made even his eyes shine. So that was the expression that people made when they were in love? Something close to look like a complete foolish idiot at the mercy of his own feelings without being able to control his wants or desires?

Nigel laughed again looking at his drink.

“Love at first fucking sight?” laughed again. “No fucking way in hell.” he finished his drink and already got up thinking it would be a good idea to go out for a little smoke.

Before leaving through the exit door, he looked at Charlie one last time and was surprised at himself for thinking that he wouldn't mind having someone looking at him in the same way. Even more so if that person were that silly american.

“Fuck.” he said before kicking the door with his foot, probably harder than he should have, to leave the club and smoke almost an entire packet of cigarettes.

Nigel tried to find other more interesting things to do or tasks that would distract his head, but unfortunately he always ended up thinking about the american. About fucking Charlie. And the fact that the boy kept going to the club didn't help that at all. The funny thing was that he was beginning to understand the anger that Sonja felt for the boy, but in his case the two had not even exchanged a word yet. This fact also irritated him because he really wanted to talk to the boy, but he continued to act stubbornly saying to himself that he would not do that.

As if the universe had heard him or something, on a Friday, something finally happened that would put an end to that love story at first sight. Sonja literally dragged Charlie to an empty corner, away from the music for the two to talk. Nigel, luckily or not, was close to the place because he had just left the bathroom. When he realized the people who were arguing there, he obviously heard the talk, leaning against the wall, out of sight.

“No, Charlie, you will listen to me, because this is going to be the last time I will say this politely.” said Sonja angry and serious as if she were about to eat someone alive. “I really appreciate your help that day and for listening to me, but that's enough. You are a good boy and I am sure you will find someone out there who will like you, but that someone is not me. Put this on your head at once, please.”

“Sonja… I really sorry for bothering you with my feelings, but I'm just asking you to at least consider…” the boy, Charlie, tried to convince her in an unsteady voice.

“I already considered! I already thought and rethought again, Charlie!” she exclaimed because she was tired of hearing him say the same thing. “You are a good man, but that is not what I want. Can you think about my feelings for a moment?” the two were silent for a few seconds. “Accept this, Charlie. I'm not in love with you. I don't feel attracted to you.” she took a deep breath. “I'm so sorry. I wish you all the best. Please don't show up here anymore. Good luck out there.” and after saying that she moved away from him and left the corridor towards the bar, past the place with Nigel was unaware of his presence.

With his hands in his pants pockets, Nigel thought this was a good ending. Everyone would go back to their lives and he would go back to his boredom. The boy would stop showing up there and the world would continue to spin, as usual. As if nothing had happened.

Despite thinking all this, Nigel left the place where he was and looked at the corridor from which Sonja had left. There was the American boy. Sitting on the floor as if his legs could no longer bear the weight of his body, with both hands running through his funny, rebellious hair and tears running down his face making him even more pathetic than he already seemed to be. That scene affected his heart, much more than he thought possible.

Nigel knew he should just ignore the boy and go back up the stairs to be able to piss off Darko, but… He also knew that he wouldn't do that because he had already saw Charlie in such a sad state. After taking several deep breaths and running a hand through his hair, Nigel started walking over to where the boy was. He stopped right next to him and threw his back against the wall, lowering his head towards Charlie sitting on the floor.

“Hey, boy!” he called trying not to look so rude. “I may be getting into other people's business, but you really look like you need a drink.” for the first time, the two faced each other and Nigel couldn't help but smile. “What do you say? Is on me.”

Nigel knew that was a fucking stupid decision, but he couldn't stop drinking while listening to Charlie tell his whole story, looking like he had already started becoming drunk after only two glasses. The american was funny in his own way. Nigel was sure he would find him irritating if he hadn't watched him for so long, but there they were. Drinking and talking about the American's life and his platonic love that had just ended. The crap of love at first sight.

As drunk as they both were, a small rational part of Nigel made him insist on accompanying the boy to the place where he was currently living. God knows it can all turn into blood in a blink of an eye. The two were still strangers to each other, but he didn't even want to think about how he would feel if something happened to Charlie, because he wanted to cheer him up a little with drinks. A lot of drinks.

Clearly Nigel was more used to walking through the streets drunk, unlike Charlie who always tripped or stopped to talk to a street lamp. Nigel laughed when he saw those scenes, but there came a time when he thought it would be better to help the american to walk, because otherwise they would not get anywhere. When offering his shoulder as a support for the boy, their faces ended up being close to each other and when Charlie stumbled again, he accidentally ended up kissing Nigel's face, who stared at him, surprised, confused and drunk.

Charlie excused himself by mumbling something about his bad breath or something, but Nigel was not paying attention because he suddenly felt an irrational urge to kiss that boy. And the fact that he continues to talk non-stop does not help this desire to disappear, in fact it did just the opposite to him. Perhaps with the "excuse" to shut Charlie up, Nigel brought his face close to his and kissed him.

Charlie obviously stopped talking, as his mouth was shut with another. The kiss was very simple and lasted a matter of seconds, but he decided it was just what he wanted. In fact, he wanted more.

Before the drunk idiot could even think of crashing them both to the ground, Nigel parted their mouths to take Charlie by the wrist to a dark alley, where he pushed the american against the wall to then devour his mouth tasting the sharp, intoxicating vodka and some sweet fruity shit that Charlie probably had; the boy was drunk, so of course he barely caught himself reciprocating but the sloppiness and muffled moans against his tongue certain made up for it and Nigel had some fun sinking his sharp canines into those plump lips.

But a kiss? It was nothing but the fucking start for him, now that a goddamn switch suddenly turned and his mind was highly aware of how fuckable the damn american could be - while the boy trembled and tried to find balance by gripping his shirt, he got closer with their chests just shy of pressing their cocks together because that would be too much for now and honestly? Nigel wanted this to take a fucking while, since Charlie thought he could torture him for so long with his shining eyes and messy shitty hair.

He ended the kiss, a loud ‘pop’ that made him smirk came along with the hazed look of someone that just had been kissed out of their fucking minds and when his fingers sank in Charlie’s curly bangs and pulled, a bit aggressive he’ll admit, he wondered if no bitch ever fucked that boy by the way everything made him react so strongly… as much as ruining a virgin sounded very appealing, biting and licking the skin he just brought to his own view was much easier to get onto and so he did it for as long as he ever remembered - from a little tease of the earlobe to tasting the salt of Charlie’s skin, leaving a wet trail gone til that fucking shirt could let him and fuck if it wasn’t great to hear the stuttered little ‘p-please’ coming from the throat he was marking so well.

But of course, as much as playing with the food was hella fun, his cock now hard as a goddamn rock needed some relief and he thought that maybe Charlie could have a treat; taking one of the boy’s hands on his, he guided it down to his crotch and helped the helpless american to cup his cock, a satisfied ‘hmmm’ coming out of his own mouth right against the other’s ear - for a hot second, he worried the boy would pass out by the weak whine he let come out… but Charlie was getting bold on his grip, and so he humped against palm making the distance between his cock and Charlie’s hand to the boy’s prick nonexistent.

“No pressure, yes or no.” - he whispered, and Charlie immediately nodded in agreement. - “I want to fuck you even stupider.”

It took a while for the words to register, but the boy was enthusiastic. - “Yes! y-yes, yes…”  
Now, maybe if Nigel was a little more sober he would’ve thought about this better: Charlie was probably not the type to fuck his sorrows away, and if he had to explain anything by the morning he wouldn’t have the fucking patience for it - but he was very drunk and he didn’t give two fucks about future Nigel and what he would deal with, therefore present Nigel took the pretty boy by his chin and continued to be blissfully focused on how tight the ass he was kneading would feel around him.

“Against the wall, Charlie?” - and the long, pained whine he got was just priceless. - “Thought so. Spread your legs.”

And wasn’t it nice how the pretty american followed his lead without even thinking of it? Nigel had no problems with the fly of Charlie’s jeans and ignored the state of the fucking ground when it came the time to get on his knees, promising himself that he would make it worth it for himself along the way. He all but ripped Charlie’s pants and underwear down his pale thighs, lubing up his lips with some spit while taking note of the boy’s bobbing cock - angry pink, circumcised with a thinner head than the veiny base; nothing he didn’t somewhat expect. Personally Nigel didn’t like to tease a cock as much as he preferred to abuse it to the fullest and so he pressed the american’s cock against his still somewhat shirt-covered abdomen and pressed his flattened tongue against the root of all those interesting veins, going up without ceremonies all the way up to the hot-as-fuck tip and took it all at once, keeping the fucker’s hips still with one hand as he slowly worked his throat around what was the his first cock after a really long time, focusing on the pathetic sounds Charlie made just as more of a reason to fucking do it. 

And he wouldn’t lie, he liked a cock in his mouth from now and then: the velvet-like texture of the skin and the raw warmth of the flesh, the pulse right between his teeth brought some sort of adrenaline to it, there was power in having this much control and he was very much into having his mouth stuffed, tongue roaming from slit to vein as he finally set the old come-and-go in a pace that satisfied him, letting Charlie take what he was given with excited approval and the grip of Nigel’s hair, hips hiccuping so adorably like he even had the strength to move from the other’s grasp.

Tasting the copious amount of precome coming out of Charlie’s cock, Nigel knew it was the best time to experiment a little bit; getting his hand at the base to stroke it a bit too tight right after he got his mouth away, the blonde let the boy have his sweet time thrusting into the cold air between them while he wet three of his fingers, covering them nicely before going back to swallowing Charlie’s cock a little less controlled, canines teasing a particular vein to the side right when one of his fingers massaged the tight ring of muscles he wanted in, pressing and testing until he couldn’t really wait anymore and Charlie was too far gone to fucking feel it - it took from there to being sucked in less than he expected, so maybe that answered his previous question.

By now Charlie had been truly fucking his throat, sometimes so uncoordinated his cock missed Nigel’s lips by an inch and he had fun taking it back, welcoming it like the fucking saint he was apparently while searching deep in the boy’s hungry ass for his damn prostate - but when he rubbed that sweet spot, it was rewarding as fuck.  
Charlie didn’t last more than three pumps deep in his tight ass, and Nigel quickly took his mouth free to make the boy cum all over himself - like fuck he would swallow -, if not a bit on his cheek, which he clean off on Charlie’s jeans that certainly were familiar with the treatment.

Getting a bit away to take a better look, Nigel couldn’t be better blessed by the view: Charlie’s cocksucker lips were red and swollen, cheeks as pink as his softening prick with that same cloud-nine look, fucked out and relaxed with a little smile on his lips. 

Still so fucking pretty. 

Nigel smiled, predatory. - “Let’s take you home, gorgeous.”

“Fuck- how are you so fucking tight?!” - he cursed, holding the boy’s spread legs against his own chest while he sank his cock inside the hole he just spit and tongue-fucked as loosened up as possible. Fuck how it felt amazing.

It took a bit to reach where the goddamn american was staying, some crappy joke of a hotel, and Charlie’s giggling was making him lose focus since something inside him found it just as funny as the other, how this night just took a sharp turn. But Nigel was nothing if not persistent, and as drunk as they both were Nigel and Charlie discovered they weren’t ready to sleep just yet.

After undressing at the speed of fucking light, they took no time deciding positions as they were too horny to decide anything; Nigel simply forced the boy to lay on his back and manhandled him into spreading well for his tongue, playing with Charlie’s balls just so he could see that young cock filling up again effortlessly and Nigel had some things to say about his utter enjoyment of a sweet ass giving in to his tongue, fingers, and finally his cock. 

Neither Charlie nor him wanted cute love-making with wandering hands and all that bullshit, so he went with what they really needed: his body over Charlie’s, rough and with no hesitation as he gripped Charlie’s thighs and ordered him to be still, stroking some spit and precome all over his own aching length before lining up and pushing inside, inch by inch being sucked it but also meeting resistance and fuck, how they moaned to it.

When he finally got all in, they were breathless and still so damn high in the sensation they honest to god laughed - it was light, nothing like Nigel had in a while and perhaps it should’ve been a signal but… he didn’t give a fuck, okay? He liked it - before Nigel moved and they lost all coherent thoughts.

With a small room like Charlie’s their moans, groans, whines, even the sound of Nigel’s balls slapping against the boy’s delicious ass echoed into their ears like the most obscene fucking song they ever listened to, and their bodies moved fast, one moving the other back and front, root to tip shaping Charlie from inside and in return he wrapped around Nigel’s flesh so tight, milking his fucking sanity out through his cock until he couldn’t hold it anymore, mercilessly aiming for that same spot inside his boy while cumming with ten different curses on his tongue and all the muscles in his goddamn body tensed, to be immediately turned into jelly.

Luckily, Charlie’s genius idea of stroking himself to completion worked right after Nigel ended and so the blonde could open up one of his tired ass eyes to watch the boy have his second orgasm of the night, looking like a pornstar.

The next morning, a terrible pain attacked Nigel's head in such a way that he ended up waking up cursing. Only to realize that he was not in his room. However, it didn't take long for him to understand what had happened the night before. The fact that he was completely naked, sleeping in a clearly messy bed and with that Charlie sleeping beside him, in a state similar to his, made Nigel conclude that it was past his time to go. And that is exactly what he did after putting on his clothes.

For the rest of the day, Nigel cursed whenever a memory came back to him about what he had done with Charlie the night before, as it ended up making his headache return. There was even a moment when Darko was out of patience with him and shouted to shut up and said that if he wanted to be just complaining about the hangover that he would have to do it elsewhere, far away from him.

After remembering everything, Nigel decided it was best to stay away from the american for now. It had been a long time since he was aware of his obsession with the boy, but he did not expect his feelings to be as intense as those he felt that night. That's precisely why he thought it would be a great fucking idea for him to stay away from Charlie. Nigel was pleased when in the next few days the boy didn't show up at the bar, as Sonja's threats apparently had the necessary effect for him to stop going there.

The next time the two would meet would be a weeks later, by sheer coincidence.

“Hm… Hi.”

Nigel was so focused on smoking his cigarette that he only noticed the presence of someone beside him when he heard the timid and uncertain voice, which made him turn his head and come across Charlie. This made him swear mentally, scolding himself for being so fucking careless and for remember he were on a street close to where the boy was staying. And why the hell did that fucking american look even cuter while holding a fucking shopping bag?

“Hello, Charlie.” he returned the greeting with a cheeky smile as he continued to smoke, acting cool like he haven't been thinking about him since the last time they met. “What a coincidence.” looked at the bag and said. “Shopping?”

“Yeah, some things run out where I'm staying... like food and stuff.” Nigel thought it was funny that the boy seemed to have difficulty finding words to say, while he was the same person who didn't stop fucking talking when the two drank together. “What about you?”

“Just waiting for a friend.” he replied, looking away when he realized he was staring too hard, trying to worry more about the cigarette in his mouth. “Who's fucking late.”

The two were silent for a few seconds, while people and cars continued to pass close to where they were. Nigel even opened his mouth to say something, but it was Charlie who ended up speaking first.

“Hm… look. I wanted to thank you for the conversation and drinks from the other day.” he said shyly, but honestly, especially when his eyes met Nigel's. “I was really in bad shape after... you know. Anyway, you helped me and I just wanted to thank you.” and he paused before continuing. “So thank you.”

Nigel blinked a few times in confusion, for that was definitely the first time someone had honestly thanked him, without fucking sarcasm, let alone three times in a row. That boy looked like he was still capable of surprising him, even in the simplest things. Besides making his fucking heart race like an fucking idiot.

“Glad to help.” was his short and direct answer. “Just be careful the next time you fall in love, all right? Because maybe someone like me won't be around to fucking help you.” Nigel said laughing jokingly.

“Yeah… you are right.” Charlie looked away and looked around them. “I have to go back and you will soon meet your friend, so... it was nice to see you, Nigel.”

Of course Charlie knew his name, but that was the first time he had spoken his name so... he had no fucking idea how to describe it, but Nigel just fucking knew that he wanted to hear him say his fucking name more often. Much more.

“Yeah. It was nice to see you too, Charlie.” he smiled at the boy. “Take care of yourself.”

“Thanks.” the american smiled too, starting to walk away. “See you around.” and turned his back on Nigel, moving further and further away until he started to mix with the other people who were walking on the street.

Nigel watched him disappear from view, waiting for something that never happened.

Maybe he expected the boy to look back, maybe he wanted Charlie to laugh at his joke and say it was too late because he had already fallen in love, maybe… fucking maybe.

Naturally, he took all his anger and frustration out on his friend when he finally arrived, cursing that he was late and that if that happened again Nigel would put a fucking bullet in one of his fucking legs.

The next time they would meet would be in a somewhat dangerous situation.

It would be at Darko's club.

While leaning against the wall of the club with his arms crossed thinking, Nigel almost couldn't believe it when he saw Charlie come through the door. He was accompanied by some friends this time, but Nigel didn't give two fucks about them. Honestly, for him their presence was so fucking irrelevant that they didn't seem to exist. Especially when Charlie seemed to be looking for someone in the crowd until his eyes landed right where Nigel was.

The american smiled and waved at him, looking like an idiot, but charming at the same time.

Nigel was deciding whether to wave back or pretend he didn't see and go outside to smoke, but Charlie already started walking towards him before he had decided. Then suddenly, between them, a Sonja appeared. Very angry.

When he saw the russian woman start talking to a frightened Charlie, Nigel immediately left where he was and quickly approached the two before something bad happened. Because something was definitely going to happen if someone didn't calm that woman down.

“I thought I was absolutely fucking clear, Charlie.” she spoke while shooting him with her eyes. “That I didn't want you to come here again and I thought you did heard me, until I saw you come in through that fucking door!”

“Sonja… I can explain.” Charlie had never seen her look so angry before.

“FUCK YOUR EXPLANATIONS!” she exclaimed, not seeming to have any patience to listen to him. “I'm going to kick you out like I should have done from the start.” Sonja was about to slap him when someone held her hand before she did.

“Fierce as always, dear Sonja.” Nigel greeted her smiling and charming, happy to be on time. “I am the one who should apologize to you for all this misunderstanding.” like a gentleman, he kissed her hand and released it. “Our Charlie here only came because I called him. To resolve some issues, if you understand what I mean.”

“Really?” she looked confused and surprised at the two. “You two know each other?”

“Yes, what a coincidence, right?” he put his arm around Charlie's shoulders. “I was also surprised when I realized that he was the same fucking Charlie you told me about.” he looked from the boy to the woman. “And he said to me that he regrets everything that he made you got through. Isn't that right, Charlie?” Nigel squeezed his hand a little on the american's shoulder to indicate that this was fucking matter of life and death and that he should proceed as he was saying.

“YES!” the boy exclaimed louder than he should, sounding a little forced. “Yes, Nigel is right. I am… I have regrets… for everything that happened between us.” he paused to clear his throat. “I'm really sorry to have bothered you, Sonja. I shouldn't have done that.”

The woman looked at him still suspiciously, but then she looked at Nigel, who continued to face her smiling not appearing to be lying. Sonja took a deep breath, looking calmer. She really didn't want to hit Charlie in the first place, however she also wouldn't accept being ignored by a boy who wouldn't just let her work in fucking peace.

“Well, if you're here because of Nigel then I apologize.” the woman said as she looked at them both, still finding that combination of friends a little strange, especially considering their personality. “I ended up making the wrong assumptions, but I'm sure none of you can blame me for that.”

“Of course not.” said Nigel, while Charlie moved his head from side to side negatively.

Sonja looked at them again before turning and heading back to the bar. The two sighed in relief at the same time, but Charlie came to sweat a little at the thought that he could have died. Still holding the boy by the shoulders, Nigel pulled him aside so they could talk.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Nigel asked angrily the instant the two were facing each other, being that the boy had his back to the wall, while he had his hand on the wall. “Do you have some fucking desire to fucking die?”

“I'm sorry, I… I may have forgotten that Sonja would also be here when I agreed to come with my friends.” he started to explain himself, making both of them surprised by the fact that he had really stopped thinking about the russian woman. “I mean… I really haven't thought about her in the past few days.” and laughed surprised at himself. “Oh, and thanks for saving me from her. I thought she was going to kill me.”

Nigel stared at him in astonishment at Charlie's lack of self-preservation while trying not to look at his lips and remember the last time he had devoured them.

“Of course, she was going to fucking kill you. If I were in her shoes, I would fucking do the same thing.” he looked away to look around them. “You still haven't answered me. What are you doing here, Charlie?”

“Well, you see, my friends really wanted to come here and I thought it would be a good idea to come along because maybe... we could meet again.” the two stared at each other for a few seconds. “I don't know, I... I just wanted us to talk again.” he paused. “Maybe be friends?”

All that and that whole situation was too much for Nigel to believe and he really didn't know how to respond to Charlie's friendship proposal. If he were completely honest he would say that he didn't want to be friends with him. No, what he wanted was something more. It was something that involved repeating what they did that night and probably continuing to do it until he got tired of the boy, which Nigel knew would not happen considering that he just couldn't fucking stop thinking about him.

“Nigel! Darko is calling you!” some idiot called him, interrupting his thoughts, irritating him.

“What the fuck does he want?!” Nigel shouted back rudely as he turned to the person who had called him.

“I don't know.” the guy said raising his hands, as if to say he didn't need to be angry. “He just asked me to call you, that's all.”

“Wonderful, you just did it, now fuck off.” he replied, still irritated enough not to consider that the man was just following orders. Nigel watched him disappear from sight before sighing and looking back at Charlie. “I have to get back to work, so make sure to stay with your friends and try your best to avoid meeting Sonja, okay?” he watched the american nod. “Good boy.” smiled, slapping on his shoulder, before leaving to find out what the hell Darko wanted.

Throughout the conversation he had with Darko, Nigel honestly didn't pay much attention, as he was still thinking about Charlie's words and if it might not be a bad idea for them to start out as friends and then later he could convince the boy that it would be better for both of them to be more intimate. He knew he could be very fucking convincing when he wanted to, especially if the dialogue involved kissing and touching in specific places. Nigel couldn't help but smile at the thought of making Charlie surrender to his desires while making him fucking melt in his arms.

“Are you fucking listening to me, Nigel?” asked Darko, clearly annoyed. “Because that damn fucking smile of yours tells me otherwise.” he sighed tiredly when he saw Nigel shrug. “Damn it, Nigel. You have been very strange these past few days.”

“And you have been more fucking irritating, more than usual.” he replied looking at the rest of the office where they were. “I thought you fucking said that things are boring and that's a fucking good thing. So why all this fucking bad mood?”

Darko took a deep breath and decided to sit in the chair instead of admitting that Nigel was right, because he would rather die than to do that. The last time he had done this, admitted that he was right, Nigel made sure he didn't forget that by reminding him every ten minutes.

“The boys are getting some products now, so why don't you go over there and help them? Take your time and smoke as much as you want.” Darko asked looking at the friend who had already risen from the couch. “And try not to kill anyone during this time.”

“And why would I do that?” Nigel asked confused, smiling. “I'm in a fucking good mood.”

“And why is that?” asked Darko suspiciously and curious.

“Fuck if I know.” and then he left.

Nigel's good mood lasted for the next few hours until he got a call. It was from Sonja.

Apparently, she saw that Charlie and his friends had gotten into some kind of trouble at the club and were now with Darko, who didn't look happy at all. Sonja added that she had called him, because in the end she didn't want Charlie to end up in a dumpster because of the bullshit his friends had done.

“Fuck!” were Nigel's first words on turning off his cell phone. “Fucking shit!”

After getting into his car, he ran like crazy through the streets without caring about the horns or anything else besides getting to the club as fast as he could. When he finally got there and ran up the stairs, Nigel took a deep breath, adjusting his appearance to not look like he had run and then opened the office door, pretending to be surprised on seeing that Darko was not alone.

“What the fuck is going on, Darko?” Nigel laughed as he watched Charlie and his friends sitting on the couch, obviously scared, and then stared at his friend. “I can't leave you alone for a second... and you're already having fun scaring some fucking kids.”

In short, the story was that one of Charlie's friends had taken some fucking junk more than he should have and so they had the fucking brilliant idea of going to the club. When one of the girls got close to this imbecile fucking friend, Darko's men understood that he had broken the rule of not touching the girls and Darko was now fucking angry.

Nigel simply wanted to kill the fucking idiots of Charlie's friends to fix this at once, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be a good idea, especially since he still had plans to continue to get involved with the american. Because of that, he gathered all his patience, if it fuck existed, and calmed Darko by saying that it was obvious that some idiots like them would show up at the club, but that was no reason to be irritated, after all they were just a bunch of children commenting silly mistakes.

After convincing Darko to forgive the boys, along with a few more threats to make sure they wouldn't make the same fucking mistake again, Nigel accompanied them to the exit.

“Looks like you really have some fucking desire to die.” whispered Nigel to Charlie as they walked to the exit, being that his friends leading the way. “Meet me in the back after you dispatch your lovely friends.” he said in the boy's ear and then smiled and watched them leave the club.

While waiting for Charlie in the back, Nigel smoked thinking what the fucking hell he was doing. Why was he so attracted to that boy? Why couldn't he just settle for whatever the fuck they had and move on, stop thinking about what that american might be doing or not? This was not him. Yeah, he usually acted according to his impulses and desires and maybe that's why he was so fucking good at his job, but… that was not the same fuck thing. Since when did he get so fucking crazy because of someone?

All of these thoughts seemed to lose their relevance when he saw Charlie approaching where he was. Because it was clear that he was crazy. And what was the problem with that?

Devouring that mouth he had longed for weeks was even better than Nigel remembered and honestly, exploring the fucking warm interior of Charlie's mouth while pressing him against the wall was one of the best decisions he had ever made. Hearing the younger boy's moans only served as a reminder of how he had fucking penetrated him that night and this made him get even more fucking excited about taking that boy right there, right now.

“Nigel… Nigel…” Charlie seemed to try to talk something between the kisses, but Nigel didn't seem too willing to let his mouth go free enough to let him say what he wanted. “I didn't... I didn't come here for this.” despite hearing him clearly, even with his voice low and intoxicated with emotion, Nigel laughed because it was clear from Charlie's expression that he wanted it as much as he did.

“So why did you come here, gorgeous?” he asked boldly, smiling, still keeping their bodies close together. “If it's because of your suggestion that we be friends…” Nigel paused while watching every detail of the other's face. “Sure. Why not? Let's be fucking friends. Anything you want.”

“Oh! Okay.” the boy laughed happily, looking even fucking cuter. “And I really apologize for my friends. I didn't expect things to end that way.”

“It's all right.” replied Nigel, not even remembering the face of the friends he was referring to anymore, as he was more focused on leaving a trail of kisses on Charlie's neck, who shivered and produced sensual sounds with each kiss. “Just keep them far away from me and Darko, that way they won't have to fucking die.”

Charlie laughed nervously at those words, perhaps because of the kisses or because he thought that although it sounded like a joke, there was also the possibility that it was quite serious. Despite being silly in many things, Charlie had already noticed that Nigel was far from being a normal person, with a normal job, even more after seeing that he was friends with the owner of the club, but the boy, after that night, just couldn't forget him. Or all the things they did that night, in the dark alley and in his bedroom bed. Only God knew how badly he wanted it to happen again.

The two of them, after that, ended up becoming friends who sometimes met to eat, chat or just spend time together. And they also had sex, either in Charlie's room or Nigel's apartment or in a bathroom, because Nigel was too excited to wait for them to arrive in either of the two places mentioned earlier. They were basically friends with benefits and none of them saw a problem with that.

Nigel preferred that they have sex in his apartment, so that way they would not be fuck interrupted as it had already happened in Charlie's room, thanks to his fucking stupid friends. The other reason was that he liked to take a shower with Charlie and do other things while they both felt the water fall on them. Not to mention that all the sound they produced there was echoed, which gave the situation an even more intense and sensual setting.

“Spread your legs further for me, Charlie.” asked Nigel whispering in the boy's ear using a sensual and breathless voice, as he had his member penetrated Charlie's entrance.

They were under the shower in Nigel's bathroom, with Charlie had his hands against the wall, while the other penetrated him from behind while leaving hickey marks on the american's shoulder and neck.

“If I do that... I will fall.” were the words that came out of Charlie's mouth, who seemed more intoxicated by that sensation than Nigel.

“No, you won't.” he replied, while placing his chest on the boy's back, while playing to bite his ear. “Because even if you fall, I will catch you.” as if to prove what he said, Nigel evolved him firmly with his arm in such a way that he ended up penetrating Charlie even more, who moaned. “Now, spread your fucking legs, Charlie.”

It was amazing how Charlie was not afraid of anything, not even the uncertain future when he was with Nigel, as if he could solve any problem that arose. Perhaps neither of them said it out loud, but there was an unquestionable trust between them, especially in these moments when they surrendered their bodies and minds to momentary indescribable pleasures.

Upon seeing the american spread his legs, like a good obedient boy, Nigel smiled contentedly and hungry to penetrate that perfect and so familiar entrance, as he had already lost count of how many times he had played with it, be it with his fingers, tongue or your own hard member. When the movements of coming and going began, the bathroom was filled with the sound of the shower, the noise of their bodies meeting and the groans and sounds of pleasure in their voices.

“Fucking God, how can you be so fucking good on suking me, gorgeous?” it was Nigel's words as he increased the pace of his thrusts while playing with Charlie's nipples with his hands. “Fuck! If I could, I would do this all fucking day and there would be nothing to fuck complain about.”

If he had not been completely lost in all the stimuli he received from the other without breaks to breathe or even think, Charlie would have said that he would probably die if they ever tried to spend an entire day just having sex. But at the same time he liked it when he heard Nigel say those things, because it was the first time in his life that he clearly felt that he was wanted and desired with such intensity. Even if the blonde wasn't in love with him, as he was with Nigel, Charlie didn't care as long as they continued that strange friendship filled with intimacies like that.

Realizing that he was about to come, Nigel slid his hand across the length of the youngest's chest to finally hold Charlie's hard member and stimulate him, making both of them reach the limit of their sanity almost at the same time. Charlie came moaning the other's name and Nigel laughed happily before pulling his chin towards him and kissing him gratefully again for having met that boy.

It didn't take long for Nigel to realize that he was completely in love with that funny-haired american. So in love that he couldn't say exactly what he would be able to do to just keep that boy smiling. That was bulshit. He would do any fuck thing and much more. Whatever Charlie asked of him, which he rarely did (except when the two of them had sex) maybe because he was the type to settle for anything he got out of life, Nigel would make it happen in one way or another. Because, apparently, that was the kind of man he wanted to be for the person he loved. Devoted and loyal to love. That would be his best quality and his greatest weakness, which he was willing to die for without thinking twice.

However, Nigel wouldn't say any of this to his boy because he knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't be comfortable with it, just as he now was uncomfortable as he couldn't hit the fucking glass bottles with the gun Nigel had borrowed for him. Missing another shot, Nigel sighed shaking his head, unable to understand how Charlie managed to miss so many fucking times.

“I already fucking told you, Charlie.” Nigel got up from where he was sitting and approached the boy, who turned to face him. “You hold the gun tight, aim and pull the trigger.” he smiled foolishly at the american, knowing he could never be angry with him. Not really. “It's that simple. There's no fucking mystery.”

“You're not a good teacher, you know?”

Upon hearing this, Nigel laughed heartily, feeling a great urge to kiss that boy. Anyone other than him that dare to said that, Nigel probably would punch in the face and broken the nose.

“Maybe you are right.” Nigel said putting his hands in his pants pockets. “But that does not change the fact that we are here, on the rooftops, for you to train your aim.”

“Tell me again why we are doing this.” he asked looking at the gun he held, with an expression of discomfort. “I don't like guns and so I never thought I would ever hold one.”

“And I never thought that I would become friends with an fucking american who makes me prefer to have him in my fucking bed than smoke my cigarettes.” the blonde smiled amused to see the reaction that his words provoked in the other. His face was adorably flushed, perfect for biting. “But here we are. Life is full of surprises, isn't?” contenting himself with just squeezing Charlie's cheek, Nigel took a cigarette from his pack. “So... I'm going to fucking teach you how to shoot because someday you might fucking need it. Like it or not.”

Putting the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it, Nigel moved closer to the boy and positioned himself on his back, placing his hands on his to help him aim correctly.

“Stay like this…” Nigel whispered purposefully in Charlie's ear. “Look at the target… and just pull the trigger.” he smiled when he recognized that expression on the boy's face and kissed him on the head before moving back. “And as much as I'm flattered that you think of me so sinfully, now is not the time, dear Charlie.” he said, smoking his cigarette a little, smiling.

“I... I'm not thinking about anything like that!” he protested with an even more flushed face.

“Your face tells me otherwise.” replied laughing as he continued to smoke. “But let's leave that for later, okay? This is important. I will sleep much more peacefully when I know that you know how to aim and shoot.” Nigel was serious this time, making it clear how important it was to him.

Charlie looked at him silently and then took a deep breath, preparing to shoot again.

“If it helps you... think that I'm the weapon you're holding.” he suggested, blowing gray smoke out of his mouth. “You're not afraid of me, are you?”

“No, I am not.” it was the direct and firm response he received, leaving Nigel quite happy.

“Do you trust me?” he asked putting the cigarette in his mouth.

“Of course.” Charlie said in a tone as if it were obvious.

“So that's all that fucking matters.” he explained, considering that if the boy made another mistake, they would continue that training later because he had more interesting plans in what the two could do together. “The gun is me and the only thing you have to do is to aim and pull the trigger. Give it a try.”

When shooting, Charlie finally hit one of the bottles and apparently was very surprised by this fact. Unlike Nigel who was proud and happy. The boy looked at him smiling and surprised asking if he had seen that and the blonde just smiled back.

“That is my fucking gorgeous boy!” exclaimed Nigel, throwing the cigarette away so that he could hold Charlie's face with both hands and kiss him deeply, devouring every part of his mouth as a way of congratulating him. “See? You fucking did it.” this time he kissed his forehead. “Now let's fucking go home, because all of this just made me fucking want to have sex with you.” informed him already pulling him by the wrist to get out of there.

Most of the dates between the two were basically like that. There was nothing planned, just the impulse of spontaneous ideas that they both had over the days, weeks and months since this unexpected relationship began. Usually it all started with Nigel's unexpected appearance wanting to take the american somewhere interesting (by Nigel standards) or when Charlie called Nigel asking if he was busy (and he always said no, even when he was in the middle of a meeting with Darko).

Despite the differences between their personalities, they somehow enjoyed each other's company between conversations about random or profound things, depending on their mood. Even if they never spoke out loud the feelings they had for each other, as if it were a kind of silent agreement between them, it was clear from their body language. The way they looked at each other, the smiles they made when the other was not looking, the discreet way Nigel smoked so that the smoke didn't go in Charlie's direction or when the american looked with fascination at the blonde's tattoos. But it was when they had sex that they were completely honest with their feelings, as they could both feel in the skin things that words would probably not be able to describe.

At the end of a afternoon, Nigel moved his hair back with both hands while he smiled boldly, looking like he was having fun after he had just finished nocking with the head one of the men who was guarding the place where he, Darko and his men were about to invade. In other words, he was working. The men were the first to enter and Darko and Nigel would join them, had the blonde's cell phone not started ringing.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Nigel?!” Darko looked like he was about to punch his friend, who took out his cell phone. “Are you really going to take a call? Now?”

Ignoring his friend's anger, Nigel made "shhh" for him to be silent before taking the call.

“Hello?” he answered the call excited thanks to the adrenaline he still felt and also because he knew who was on the other end of the line. “Of course I'm not busy, I'm just getting some fresh air with Darko.” the other man who was on guard along with the one Nigel had nocaltada started to grumble, but was soon shut up with a kick on the face by Nigel. “The national library? Sure, I can get there in twenty minutes.” he looked at Darko, who looked at him with disbelief. “Yeah, see you soon.” the blonde hung up the phone with a silly smile on his lips and then turned his attention back to his friend. “Sorry, Darko, but I have to go. You and the guys can get things done here, right?” Darko was so perplexed by Nigel's behavior that he didn't even know what to say. “Great! See you tomorrow.” he started to walk away and ended up sniffing his own shirt, then making an expression of displeasure. “It might be a good idea to take a fucking shower first.”

After taking a quick shower and wearing his only clean shirt, which was a blue with dog drawings, Nigel went to the national library where Charlie had arranged them to meet. When he got there, the american was already sitting on the steps of the library entrance, with his unruly hair pulled back making Charlie look tidier.

“What was the surprise you told me?” asked Nigel curiously, as he got close enough to the boy, who turned his face in his direction when he heard his voice. They both exchanged smiles, as they usually did whenever they saw each other.

“You like classical music, right?” asked Charlie confidently, smiling more when realized the surprise in Nigel's expression. “So... I thought maybe you would like to see and hear that.”

Not far from where they were, a group of people were gathered around people who played music outdoors. The most curious part was that the sound of the music reached Nigel's ears clearly, giving an impression that he was closer to the musical instruments. Fascinated by the music, Nigel sat next to Charlie and they were both silent just listening and enjoying the music together.

“How the fuck did you find out?” asked Nigel, without taking his eyes off the people playing the music.

“Honestly it was just a guess.” explained Charlie, feeling a little embarrassed, but glad he hadn't made a mistake. “I remember once when we were eating together that you looked in the direction someone was playing a cello. You don't normally care much about what's going on around you, so I was surprised. Especially for the calm expression on your face.”

Upon hearing the american's explanation, the blonde turned his face to him. Apparently that boy was more observant than he appeared and that was unexpectedly charming. The happiness that Nigel felt at that moment was different from the other times they had met, because Charlie's surprise had been more than that. This was special. Although he was not used to special things, the blonde was able to distinguish that from the excuses he made just so they could see each other and talk.

“I used to think that everything in this fuck world was a sequence of misfortunes and fucking crap, you know?” said Nigel, unable to look away from the boy who was also watching him. “But it looks like I was fucking wrong.” he laughed and looked at the musicians again. “You are the least wretched thing that ever happened to me.”

Charlie smiled at that and also turned his attention to the musicians. 

The two remained like that, in silence, for some minutes.

“So... does that mean you liked it?” asked Charlie shyly, not sure how to interpret the other's words, although he thinks that was a good thing.

“Of course I fucking liked it, Charlie!” exclaimed Nigel, laughing.

The next day, Nigel was forced to listen to all Darko's sermon because he left right in the middle of the fucking work they were doing, only to go meet a “friend”. It had been a long time since he had noticed some changes in Nigel's behavior, but Darko chose not to get involved in his personal affairs, as it never ended well, mainly because of his friend's temperament. However, the more time passed, the more he realized that the relationship Nigel had with this "friend" didn't seem close to ending at all.

“Should I start worrying?” Darko finally asked worriedly. “About you and this friend?”

“Fuck no!” replied Nigel, laughing. “I have no fucking idea why you started thinking this bullshit, but worry about your shits that I worry about mine.” he got up from the chair he was sitting on. “Are you done?” and without waiting for a response from the friend, the blonde started walking towards the door, already starting to get a cigarette from his pocket.

“Are you in love, Nigel?”

Darko's question was so unexpected that Nigel unconsciously stopped his movement of lighting his cigarette. The way he had asked the question, reminded Nigel of all the bullshit he had thought before accepting the fact that he felt an uncontrollable attraction to the american. It also reminded him that although Charlie wouldn't mind Nigel's job, like he doesn't mind knowing the things he do, but there's were some things that make him afraid. He could see it in his eyes, even though he wasn't sure what that fear was.

Nigel looked at Darko, seeming to have completely changed the mood between them to something heavier and more serious despite not having spoken a word yet. He lit the cigarette on his lips and only after taking a good drag did he decide to speak.

“As I just said, Darko.” he said coldly, with a dark look. “Fuck your own business.” and without having the patience to continue that conversation, Nigel opened the door and left before they started a fight.

Despite continuing to be worried about Nigel, Darko did not mention this issue again in the following days and this made the blonde's mood return to normal little by little.

Making one of those surprise visits whenever he felt like it, Nigel went to the crappy hotel where Charlie slept, so they could go around without any destination in mind. However, when he knocked on the american's bedroom door there was no response whatsoever, not even any of his stupid friends came to answer it.

“Charlie?” called to him, trying not to think about the worst possibility, but failing and already taking the weapon he had hidden under the shirt.

As he tried to turn the knob, he realized that the door was not locked and in just a quick movement Nigel opened the door, already pointing the gun into the room. Despite being confused by the scene before him, Nigel was relieved to see that the worst case had not happened since everyone he expected to find there was present. The two idiot friends were lying on the floor looking clearly drugged or worse and Charlie was lying on the bed on his back.

After put the gun away, the blonde entered the small bedroom closing the door behind him. He passed the idiots' bodies, thinking how much better the world would probably be if they just disappeared, so he could finally get to where Charlie was. In a gentle way, Nigel tried to wake him up, even calling him a few times, but he soon realized that the boy was also drugged. This made him so furious that he actually considered shooting the two bastards who were on the floor, even pointing the gun at them, but he sighed knowing it wouldn't help.

Nigel kicked the fucking idiot named Carl until the unfortunate man woke up with considerable pain in the ribs, to then ask what kind of crap they had given Charlie. After receiving the answer he wanted to hear, Nigel started listening to Carl's explanations saying that they just wanted to have fun and that made him have a fake laugh before punching the fucking idiot, making him pass out.

Carrying Charlie in his arms, Nigel left that room to go to his apartment where he could take care of the boy. He also swore to himself that he would not let him sleep there anymore.

During the time he watched the boy slowly recovering from the effects of drugs lying on his bed, made Nigel think of several things. Dangerous things that he never thought would come to his mind. Like the possibility of dropping everything, especially his work, because of Charlie. Now Darko would fucking kill him for just thinking of something like that.

“Nigel?” Charlie's weak, confused voice brought him back to reality. “Why…? Why am I in your bed?” he started to scan his surroundings, recognizing the blonde's apartment. “How did I get here? I can swear the last thing I remember was falling on my bed.”

“Was that before or after you took fucking drugs, Charlie?” Nigel asked in a voice full of irony.

The two stared at each other for the next few seconds, more because Charlie gradually became more awake realizing Nigel's bad mood, to the point of remembering about his friends.

“Did you kill them?” Charlie asked with concern and fear.

“No, I didn't kill them.” he responded, crossing his arms and turning his face away, clearly still angry. “I may have kicked and punched Carl, but I fuck doubt that will lead to his death. Unfortunately.”

“I thought you didn't know their names.” he commented, surprised that he mentioned his friend's name, because he normally didn't even know how to differentiate them when Charlie talked about them.

“They are your friends.” Nigel replied simply, as if that explained everything. “Friends who are always close to you, so of course I fucking know their names even if I don't give a damn about them.” paused. “But I fucking wanted. To kill them. Very much.” Nigel looked back at the american. “What the fuck, Charlie? Why did you do something so fucking stupid?”

“We're just having fun.” he replied with his eyes closed, running a hand through his hair.

“Your fucking friends certainly were, but you are not like them.” the blonde spoke firmly, which made the boy open his eyes to look at him. “You took drugs for a reason, didn't you? Because in terms of fun, you and I definitely know other ways to fucking achieve that, right? Ways that don't involve putting any kind of fucking crap running through our veins and that I'm more than willing to make you fuck achieve the greatest ecstasy of pleasure, if you just fuck ask.”

“What the fuck are you saying? And why are you so mad at me?” Charlie started to say, looking more and more confused. “I don't understand why do you look so worried about me… I'm nobody. I…” he stopped talking when he felt a hand hold him firmly by the chin.

“Look at me.” Nigel's requests always seemed to be orders at the same time, which Charlie followed almost automatically. “Maybe you are a nobody to others, but not to me.” their eyes remained fixed on each other, even when the boy was surprised by his words. “To me, you are my gorgeous boy. Someone I would do anything to just keep your fucking smile alive.” the blonde looked at the american's lips, already feeling that familiar desire to kiss them, but he soon fixed on the other's eyes. “So yeah, Charlie, I’ll always fuck worry about you and that’s the fucking reason why I’m fucking angry right now.” and let go of his chin, already starting to get out of bed, but being stopped by the boy's hand, who held him by the arm.

“I am sorry. Please don't go.” he asked, in a sad tone. “I... I really don't want to be alone.”

Nigel was surprised by Charlie's reaction and even thought about saying that he didn't intend to go anywhere, that he was just going to get a glass of water, but the blonde decided to keep quiet and sit on the bed next to boy. He embraced the american with one of his arms, bringing him close, comforting him in the best way he could.

Charlie started to tell what had happened to end up in that state where Nigel found him. The blonde was not surprised to hear that the suggestion of taking the drugs had started from the stupid friends, but he did not expect that the reason Charlie took the drugs was the hallucinations that he had of his late mother. The reason he went to that country in the first place.

“As I already told you, I came here to this country because I thought this was her advice. To find something.” he continued to count the boy with his head resting on Nigel's shoulder, who listened to everything in silence. “I don't know, maybe live some adventure? Experiencing something that will somehow change me?” he hadn't really thought about it, so the questions came up as assumptions that not even he was sure of. “But in the end... it doesn't matter, does it? Because she's nonetheless just dead.”

Throughout his whole fucking life, Nigel never had to console anyone, much less had the desire to fucking do so, but now listening to Charlie share his problems made the blonde wish he could know for sure what to do to make him feel less shit and a little better. What would normal people do in situations like this? Nigel had no fucking clue.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked sincerely, as it might be better for Charlie to tell him what to do than to try to do something that would probably fucking go wrong. And that was the last thing Nigel wanted to fucking happen. “Just say it and I'll do it.”

“I'm not Darko to give you orders, Nigel.” the american informed, laughing looking a little happier and that pleased the other. “But I understood what you meant and I appreciate it. For real.” he moved away so they could face each other appropriately. “I don't want to be comforted, I just want your company because it is more than enough for me.”

“The same old Charlie. Always contenting with the simplest things.” while saying this, Nigel gave a sad smile as he ran his hand through Charlie's hair. “As if he think he doesn't deserve more than that.” their eyes met. “Just like me, but fuck worse. Because despite knowing that I don't deserve any of this, I always grab whatever the fuck I want. It doesn't matter what the fuck others say, think or do.” their foreheads touched. “Fuck the rest of the world. We should live the way we fuck want.”

The boy started laughing and so the two ended up laughing together making the sad atmosphere that was there disappear. They didn't need kind and sophisticated words to comfort each other. Just sincere words, accompanied by some curses, and laughter were enough to make them realize again how they felt so comfortable and happy with the presence of each other. Something they had never felt before for anyone else, not even with their closest friends.

“I love you, Charlie Countryman.”

In the heat of the moment, while the two looked at each other and Nigel held the other's face, those words were spoken naturally as if it hadn't been the first time Charlie had heard them. Which was not true, especially considering his surprised expression.

“You do?” he asked, still surprised, but also with a tone of doubt, as if he couldn't believe it.

“I wouldn't fuck say it if I didn't, Charlie.” Nigel said a little frustrated with the other's disbelief, especially after saying something so fucking incredible. “When you asked me to be friends, at first I was thinking of saying fuck no, but if being friends was what you wanted, then I would fucking accept it.” he paused a little. “But what I always wanted, what I fucking want now, is that we be more than that. So, what do you say, gorgeous?” smiled boldly. “Let's end this crap of being friends and begin to be what we were always fucking meant to be?”

“And what is that?”

At this moment, Nigel smiled in a way that he only reserved for when he was about to do something dangerous, but that would make him very happy.

“Lovers, boyfriends, I don't give a damn about words. What matters is how we feel and I feel like I could do any fuck thing to make you happy with me.” he fixed his eyes on the other's waiting for something. “What about you?”

Instead of answering, Charlie made one of those silly smiles that Nigel loved to see and then held the blonde's face to kiss him deeply, even making his tongue explore the inside of the other's mouth. They continued to kiss without caring about the seconds or minutes that passed.

“Fuck yeah.” Charlie said afterwards that their mouths parted. “Of course, I fucking love you, Nigel.” he laughed happily. “I think I love you since the first time we had sex.”

“I thought you didn't remember that.” Nigel spoke, also smiling happily. “At least, not everything. Because you were really fucking drunk.”

“So was you, but I get your point.” he closed his eyes and made an expression like I was thinking about something. “Okay, how can I say this without looking like an idiot?” the boy was silent for a few more seconds while the other continued to stare at him waiting. “Even if I was more drunk than I was that night… I could never forget what we did.” their eyes met. “That was so fucking good that I couldn't think of anything else every time I masturbated after that night.”

The new information had been so unexpected that it took Nigel a few more seconds to finish processing it. And then he started to imagine the boy in front of him masturbating while thinking about him and probably moaning his name, as he always did, when he was about to come.

“Fucking shit, Charlie!” Nigel exclaimed indignantly when he finished imagining the scene, already feeling his member start to harden. “Why the fuck did you tell me this just now?”

“Because… it's embarrassing and… this is not something that is said to friends...”

“Shut the fuck up, Charlie.” he interrupted the american's speech, so that he could hold his neck and kiss him hard, only managing to think about how he wanted to be able to devour that boy. Every part of him. Until there's nothing left that doesn't belong to him.

Generally, the two always had a fast pace whenever they wanted to have sex, but this time in particular they removed their clothes faster. In fact, Nigel was the one who removed the shirts, the pants and everything that could stop him from seeing that boy's completely naked body. Throwing them away or ignoring them on the bed, after all, none of that mattered as long as the two could feel each other's skin. As a desperate need they needed to satisfy now that they had finally admitted how they felt about each other.

For Nigel, the ideal thing would be for Charlie to move in that apartment, especially after this drug incident, but the american insisted that he would like to continue to go to that crap hotel. Apparently the boy wanted to be able to have his own space to think or some bullshit like that, but he promised that he would not do that fucking shit again (taking drugs), and also accepted Nigel's request to spend more time in that apartment with him. To facilitate his comings and goings, Charlie received a spare key from Nigel's apartment.

Nigel was the type of person who easily lost his stuff or forgot where he put it (except for his cigarettes and lighter), but Charlie managed to be worse than him, much worse. For this reason, when Nigel giveted the spare key, he placed it on a silver chain that could serve as a kind of necklace, in a way that would make it almost impossible for the boy to lose. The way he handed over the key was putting the silver chain on Charlie's neck while he was still sleeping, because he wanted the boyfriend to wake up surprised and ask what it was.

Although he was the one who planned all that, Nigel was not prepared for Charlie's silly smile as he continued to hold the key and look at it, as if it were the best gift he had ever received in his life. This ended up resulting in the complete forgetting of the breakfast they were having for a sequence of kisses between the two men in such a way and intensity that they ended up having morning sex at the kitchen table.

As both became more present in each other's routine, even more than before, their acquaintances became aware of their relationship and had the most diverse reactions to the news.

Charlie's friends already kind of knew they were both in the "friends with benefits" phase, but they were surprised when they realized that it had evolved into something more serious. They both just said "cool" or “okay” to the american, preferring to keep all their thoughts to themselves, mainly because he was telling this with Nigel at his side with his arm on his shoulders, watching them with a friendly smile, but threatening at the same time.

On Nigel's part, Darko received the news when the two were talking and drinking, which ended up resulting in him so surprised that he almost choked on his own drink. At first he thought his friend was kidding or making jokes, but when he realized that this was serious, Darko was silent. Now that he knew who Nigel's "friend" was and also that they were more than that now, Darko wanted to warn his friend that it didn't look like that was going to work, but he also knew that the blonde wouldn't listen to him, so… The only thing he said was "I really hope you know what you are doing" and "don't you dare to mix work with your personal affairs or I will fucking kill you".

As expected, Nigel laughed when he heard Darko's threats and said "yeah, I fucking love you too" before putting more of the drink in their glasses, to then make his glass slightly tap his friend's.

No one could have predicted that Nigel and Charlie's relationship would start to change with an incident that happened sometime after that talk. Nigel had done a big fucking mistake at work, during Darko's absence, which ended up resulting in a very ugly wound on the side of his belly. Despite having managed to kill all the bastards who had caused that fucking mess and also the impossibility of going to the hospital, the blond was in a struggle to continue to live, as the possibility of dying because of that wound was far from zero.

Lying on his bed, now stained with his blood, Nigel had his hand over the wound with his eyes closed and a tired expression. He cursed himself mentally while thinking about Charlie wishing he could see him again. 

As a kind of signal, the blonde listened to the bell in surprise, as he had apparently passed out without realizing it. The sound of the doorbell was followed by a lot of knock on the door.

“Nigel? Are you there?”

He recognized Charlie's voice, though it was muffled to be behind the door.

“Stop knocking on the fucking door and use the spare key, Charlie!” Nigel exclaimed angrily, despite being pleased with the american's presence, but irritated by his knocking on the door that seemed to only increase the pain of his wound.

“Oh! Right!” after remember the key on his neck, Charlie opened the door and went inside, then closed the door. “Why didn't you say anything if you were here? I…” he immediately stopped talking when he saw a Nigel standing with his shoulder on the wall, while keeping a hand over the wound in his belly. “What the fuck…?”

“Hi, gorgeous.” Nigel greeted him smiling as he always did, as if the fact of being hurt was irrelevant. “What are you doing here?”

“I've been trying to call you, but you didn't answer it no matter how many times I tried to call.”

“You did?” he asked confused, sure he didn't remember hearing his cell phone ring. It was at this moment that he realized that he lost his cell phone during all that fucking mess. “Shit! I lost my cell phone.” Nigel took a few steps to the boy to be able to hold his shoulder. “Sorry for making you worry, baby. Are you alright?”

“If I am alright? What the fuck is wrong with you, Nigel?! You're the one bleeding in the middle of your apartment!” Charlie exclaimed nervous and worried looking at the blonde's face and also at the wound. “What the hell happened? Why are you…?”

“I'm fine, Charlie.” Nigel interrupted, smiling at him, as if that was enough to prove his words. “This is nothing, I just need…” and without being able to finish speaking, Nigel ended up losing his strength, forcing Charlie to hold him so he wouldn't fall to the floor.

The next time he woke up was several hours later.

Opening his eyes slowly, Nigel realized that he was lying on the bed again and apparently someone had managed to put the bandage on his wound more professionally than he did. As he tried to sit on the bed, he realized that something was holding his hand and when he turned to see what it was, he found Charlie sleeping in a chair while holding his hand. 

It was a very simple gesture, but it meant a lot to Nigel, mainly because he didn't imagine or even expect anyone to worry about him so much. For people like him, with a job like his, it was a luxury to hope that if one day they died someone would be by their side, holding their hand.

Distracted looking at their joined hands, he ended up not realizing that Charlie was awake until the moment he felt his arms wrap around him in a tight hug. When Nigel closed his eyes just to feel that contact between their bodies, he also noticed that the boy was shaking a little.

“You fucking scared me, Nigel.” he whispered in a shaky voice. “I think I still am.”

“Charlie…” the blonde started to say.

“I know.” the boy interrupted him, continuing to embrace him as if he were afraid to let go and lose him. “Something about your job must have gone wrong and that is why you are like this. I know. This shouldn't be a surprise to me, because I know how dangerous your job can be.” Charlie rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. “But I'm going crazy thinking what could have happened if I hadn't come here looking for you, Nigel.” he move away so they could face each other and the blonde was shocked to see tears falling down his face. “What the hell would I have done if you had died?”

“Don't be like that. Don't think about it.” Nigel quickly held the boy's face with both hands, fixing his eyes on his. “I'm here, with you and that's all that matters, right?” he gently wiped the tears away with his fingers in pain, more painful than the wound in his belly, on his chest seeing Charlie cry. “I will not fucking die, okay? This was just a mistake I made by being an idiot, but it won't happen again. I promise.”

“You can't promise me that, Nigel.” Charlie closed his eyes and held the blonde's hand still over his face. “You know that better than me.” he opened his eyes and gave a sad smile. “After all, it was because of this danger that you taught me to shoot, didn't you?”

Nigel's first instinct was to deny Charlie's words, but what would be the point of doing so if they both knew the truth? And the truth was that Nigel didn't want to bring that american boy into his world, not really, and Charlie didn't feel confident enough to ask the blonde to quit his job so they could have something closer to normal, at least something safe.

“Can you stay by my side?” asked Nigel after finishing wiping away tears. “Do you want to stay by my side?” his voice came out more pathetic than he intended, but he didn't mind showing his weaknesses to Charlie, not after everything that happened between them.

“Do you really ask me that after I carried you to this bed and almost broke my back, because you are so much heavier than you look, and have cleaned your wound, besides putting bandages on?” he asked laughing, looking a little more happy. “Shut the fuck up and lie down.” Nigel obeyed him automatically, surprised by his reaction.

“Who are you and what did you do with sweet Charlie?” asked the blonde laughing.

“Don't call me like that.” said the boy, settling on the bed to be close to Nigel, but being careful not to touch the wound. “It's more embarrassing than being called gorgeous by you.”

“Liar.” Nigel pulled him close to him, wrapped him in his arm, making Charlie's head rest on his chest. “You fucking love when I call you that. Especially when you're about to come.” satisfied with the pink color in the american's ears, the blonde kissed his boyfriend's head and closed his eyes with a smile on his lips, more focused on the other's body heat than on the wound.

It took Nigel several days to heal completely from the wound and during all that time Charlie stayed by his side, just going out to buy food or medicine. The hardest part was keeping the blonde quiet on the bed in order to recover properly, as he had never been the type to stand around being cared for by others. There were even a few times when he tried to seduce the boy, because apparently having to stay without sex for days was worse than not being able to smoke. And every time Nigel started to slide his hands inside his boyfriend's clothes, Charlie made threats like that he would leave if he continued to act that way.

“Fucking hell.” Nigel cursed every time, lying on the bed again and crossing his arms, looking very much like a sulky child. “Fucking shit. Fucking motherfucker bastard and his goddamn fucking knife that left me fucking like this.” and then he closed his eyes taking a deep breath. “Just wait a little longer, Charlie. As soon as I am fucking cured, I will definitely fuck you so good that I am going to take to the fucking moon.” smiled charmingly and sexy as he opened his eyes and fixed them on the american.

When the scar was almost completely healed and he was feeling much better, Nigel had a final examination performed by a acquainted doctor from Darko, at the insistence of both his friend and Charlie. As soon as the doctor confirmed that he was in good condition, the blonde got up from his chair, already starting to button his shirt.

“Thank you, doc, for saying what I already knew, but nobody fucking listened to me.” he clearly directed those words to Darko, who was watching him silently. “Now that this is all resolved, I'm going to take a fucking break, because I think I fucking deserve it after all this shit that went through in your absence, okay?” Nigel smiled happily, placing his hand on his friend's shoulder as soon as he finished buttoning his shirt. “Until the next time we see each other, Darko.” and started to walk away, being in a great mood, taking the new cell phone in his pocket.

“He isn't going to answer.” Darko's words made Nigel turn to face him in confusion.

“Who is not going to fucking answer?” he asked without understanding.

“Charlie.”

Right at that moment, Nigel just looked at Darko with a neutral expression. He looked at the cell phone in his hand before putting it back in his pants, then approaching his friend, changing his aurea for something threatening.

“And why the fucking hell won't he fucking answer, Darko?”

“I don't know.” he didn't even finish saying that before the blonde held him by the collar of his shirt. Nigel, despite being angry, took a deep breath while staring at Darko.

“Try again, before I do something I will regret.” Nigel threatened in a calm tone.

“I really don't fuck know, Nigel.” Darko insisted, not at all surprised by the blonde's reaction and keeping his expression neutral. “He just said he wouldn't take any calls, because he needed time.” Darko put his hand over his friend's and took it out of his shirt. “He also said that he would call you at night.”

“And you just let him go like that?” the blonde questioned menacingly.

“What did you expected I had done? He's your man, not mine.” after saying that, Darko started to walk away. “I'll give you a week off, that's all.”

Despite Darko's warnings and also the fact that Charlie didn't answer any of his calls, Nigel went looking for his boyfriend everywhere he thought he might be. The first place was the hotel room, which the blonde practically broke the door on kicking. There were only his stupid friends, who swore almost crying that they really didn't know where Charlie was and that they would never dare lie to him. Everywhere else had the same result, which only left Nigel more frustrated and angry. In the end, having no other option, he waited for the boy to call at the apartment.

Smoking another cigarette, which Nigel didn't give a damn about what number it should be, he was sitting looking at his cell phone on his table with intensity among the gray cloud. Sometimes he would also look at the clock on the wall, unable to remember where that clock had come from, as he did not remember buying it.

When it was exactly 8:00 pm, the cell phone started to ring and Nigel crushed the cigarette in the ashtray to then accept the call while getting up.

“Where the fuck are you? I'm going there.” was the first thing he said, already getting his car keys. “We will fucking talk when we meet.”

"What did the doctor said?"

"He said I'm fucking fine, just like I have already told you, but apparently your concern about my fucking health was not the only thing that made you fucking insist on making me visit the fucking doctor.” the blond was a long way from being the type to stop and think about other people's thoughts or intentions, but even so he was not stupid enough to miss the coincidence between his visit to the doctor and the boy's disappearance. “I am really piss, Charlie."

“Sorry, but I really needed to do this.” Charlie's voice was calm and honestly Nigel didn't know what think about this, whether he should be more concerned or not. “You would pick me up no matter where I am, right?”

“You are fucking right that I go pick you up no matter where you fucking are.” replied the blonde with intensity. “I would fucking go to hell if I needed to, so tell me where the fuck you are, Charlie.” and he opened the apartment door, still with his cell phone in his ear, looking at the person in front of him.

“Right here.” replied the american smiling at him, also with his cell phone in his ear.

The two continued to stare at each other as they hung up and put away their cell phones.

“I brought your favorite.” said Charlie as he held up the cigarette package from Nigel's favorite brand.

"You're going to need more than that to make me not be mad at you." the blonde was surprised to be hugged by the boy in front of him. "Okay… that's starting to work, but I'm still mad at you for not taking my calls and disappearing like that." Nigel hugged him back, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in relief. "I was fucking worried."

"I'm sorry." he apologized again.

Nigel started to run his hand through his curly hair, bringing his face even closer to Charlie noticing a cigarette smell on him.

"You were smoking?" the blonde asked with curiosity and surprise, since he rarely saw the boy smoking. Despite loving cigarettes, Nigel would rather smell his boyfriend's natural smell than smell nicotine on his clothes or hair.

"Yeah, but just one or two.” Charlie replied laughing and moving away so they could look at each other. “I will hardly be able to reach the same level was you."

After letting go of his boyfriend so he could enter the apartment, Nigel closed the door and followed Charlie, who sat down in the chair that the blonde was in before. Knowing that they were about to have a long conversation about whatever the reason the american had behaved that way, Nigel sat in the other chair, resting his arm on the table between them.

"Why the fuck did you disappear, Charlie?" the blonde was the first to speak. “Fucking Darko said you needed time. Time for what?” he scratched his head looking uncomfortable. “I know I haven't been one of the best companies in the past few weeks… always complaining or fucking annoying you… I would have understand if you had told me that you wanted some time just for you and I would have just asked you to let me know where you were.”

“Would you?” the boy's question caused Nigel to remain silent for a few seconds, looking away in the opposite direction.

“Probably not.” he confessed smiling and then looked at his boyfriend. “But can you fucking blame me? I'm fucking hopelessly in love with you. Since the first time I saw you.” Nigel smiled, laughing at himself as he realized what he was saying. “Yeah. The crap of love at fucking first sight. I'm more fucking surprised than you are about this.” he took a cigarette, putting it in his mouth before lighting it with his lighter. “I thought... it wouldn't be such a bad thing to have someone looking at me the same way you looked at Sonja.” smoked the cigarette a little before continuing. “Fuck how I was wrong. The way you look at me is not even close to the way you looked at Sonja.” their eyes met. “The way you look at me... makes me like who I am for the fucking first time, even with all the fucking crap I've ever done and probably still fucking will.” without being able to hold more, he held Charlie's hand, because I needed some kind of contact between them. “How can I not like myself, even if just a little, when you look at me like I'm the best thing you've ever known?”

Charlie laughed happily when he heard that, while reciprocated the squeeze of the hand of the other.

“You're the best thing I've ever known, Nigel.” he confirmed still smiling and looking at the blonde. “Never doubt that. No matter what. Falling in love with you... was one of the few things I did in life that makes me feel in a way that I never thought possible. Doing things I would never do before.” paused. “You make me feel so alive and happy that I know I couldn't take the pain I would feel if I lost you.”

“What are you saying, Charlie?”

"I'm not like you, Nigel. If some asshole hurts you or manages to kill you, I won't be able to do anything but watch.” he looked sad and angry at the same time. “I will not be able to punish them as you would if they did something to me. And that is extremely fuck up.” closed his fist and his eyes. “I don't want to be around and watch you die. I can't do it, Nigel. I just lost my mom and I know I won't take it if I lose another person that I love."

Silence returned to them as Nigel absorbed every word of the american trying to find a way for them to resolve that issue, but unfortunately he always ended up in the same option. No matter how many promises he made to his boyfriend, his work remained as something that would always put him in constant danger even if he tried to be more careful.

“I'm not strong like you.”

Upon hearing the boy's words, Nigel laughed wryly.

“Funny you say that after taking care of me for all these past weeks because of a fucking damn wound. Or after all the times I pathetically beg you to stay by my side.” he took the cigarette from his mouth and mashed it in the ashtray. “I'm not fucking strong or anything like that, Charlie. I have to fucking pretend to be, otherwise I will actually end up dying because of this fucking world we live in.”

“I think we will have to agree to disagree then.” joked Charlie, laughing.

“I guess so.” agreed Nigel, before they were silent for a few more seconds while making their fingers touch. “Where does all this leave us then?”

“I honestly have no fucking clue.” admitted the boy also looking at their linked hands.

“Can I then take you to the fucking moon, as I promised?” they face each other and smiled.

As it had been a while since the last time they had sex, Nigel took his time to prepare Charlie's entrance while leaving hickey and bites marks all over his body. How he had missed hearing the moans, the voice trembling with pleasure and his name coming from the mouth of his beautiful boy. Feel the heat of his body against his skin, as if nothing else in the world mattered beyond that.

Both were sitting on the bed, being that Charlie was sitting on Nigel's lap, while the blond moved the second finger inside the boy from the back, at the same time that the two kissed making their tongues play with each other. When they parted their mouths, Nigel started kissing the other's neck while Charlie closed his eyes by sliding his hands down the blonde's back.

When it was time for the third finger, the blonde started sucking on the american's nipples, listening to his approving groans and feeling his hand hold firmly in his hair. Charlie was always impressed by the softness of his boyfriend's blond hair. Nigel had never said that out loud, but the boy knew how much he liked it when the other touched his hair, always craving for more affection, behaving like a cat.

When he removed all his fingers, making a moan come out of the american's mouth, Nigel smiled boldly while enjoying holding his buttocks firmly before positioning his hard member below Charlie's entrance. Wanting that boy who he loved more than anything to just enjoy and feel every sensation that their bodies caused to each other, the blonde affectionately held his head from behind and kissed him on the mouth making them both close their eyes at the same time, while his member started to penetrate him.

Despite all the preparation, Charlie's insides were still tighter compared to the last time, but the gravity and strength that Nigel made by holding the other's waist made him come in slowly and completely.

“Fuck…”  
“Nigel…”

Feeling the warmth inside Charlie always made Nigel completely lose track of anything and so the same thing happen to the boy feeling the blonde's member pulse inside him. The truth was that they had both missed that, that intimacy and that warmth, even though Nigel was the only one trying to seduce Charlie during the time the blonde was recovering from the injury.

When the American's body began to rise and fall on the blonde's limb, the sounds of their bodies meeting, their moans and their uncontrolled breathing were the only things they heard making the situation even hotter than it already was. There was even a time when Nigel grabbed the wrist of the arm Charlie used to lean on the blonde's shoulder and started biting him while keeping his eyes fixed on the boy's.

“Come for me, sweet boy.” whispered Nigel in a voice filled with pleasure, his lips still on Charlie's skin. “Come just to give me the pleasure of making you fucking come again.”

Feeling more goosebumps all over his body when he heard those words and also finally feeling the blonde's hands wrap around his hard member, which was already producing pre-come. After a few more penetrations and stimuli in his member, Charlie came hard and was forced to hold on to Nigel to keep from falling.

“Look at you.” Nigel said with pride and happiness in his voice, looking up and running his hand over Charlie's sweaty face. “So fucking gorgeous.” and leaned forward to kiss him slowly.

“What about you? You didn't come.” the boy managed to say those words in a low voice and still intoxicated with pleasure.

“Don't worry about me, Charlie.” he calmly kissed him again. “We are still far from finished this.” while Nigel was still kissing him, he pulled him closer, making their chest touch. “I promised you the moon, after all.” and moving their bodies together, he placed Charlie's body on the bed while standing on top of him.

The two spent the next few minutes just kissing and touching, giving Charlie enough time to recover a little from the first time of many he would come that day. The next time, Nigel made him reach ecstasy inside his mouth. Although the boy tried to get his member out of the blonde's mouth in time, it was impossible because he really wanted to swallow it all and then, after doing that, he look at Charlie passing his hand over his lips in such a sexy way that the american laughed and put his hands to cover his eyes.

The third time, Nigel finally came hard inside Charlie while making moves to come and go from behind and also biting the other's ear, while sliding his hands over his sweaty body. The boy felt he was starting to feel dizzy after having sex so many times in a row.

“Nig… I can't… I am…” Charlie tried to formulate phrases, but failed every time.

“Of course you can.” the boy's arms were lying close to his head on the bed and Nigel slid his hands along all their length until he made all their fingers intertwine. “You don't have to do anything at all, my sweet boy.” lowered his head to kiss his neck. “Relax and fucking enjoy me making you come for the fourth time.”

Closing his eyes and taking care not to forget to breathe, Charlie felt his throat ache as he moaned again feeling Nigel's hot, sweaty body on him as he penetrated him again. The boy felt strange, tired and impressed by the fact that he felt his member start to get hard again. He had no idea how Nigel managed to make him feel like he was about to die from the pleasure he felt in every part of his body.

This time, Nigel came before him, and they were both breathing irregularly, feeling the warmth of their breaths on their faces as they kissed, before Charlie passed out smiling.

Even though Nigel was also tired after finally having the sex he wanted so much to do with his boyfriend, he couldn't sleep because his mind was still thinking about the conversation they had before and also the fact that he couldn't find Charlie after he disappeared. So he lay down on the bed and hugged the sleeping boy with both arms, in a possessive way, covering both with the sheet for fear that Charlie might catch a cold.

Nothing changed between them in the following days, even though they both knew that the issue they had started had not been resolved and would probably become the biggest problem in their relationship, no matter how much they ignored it.

The next time they would be forced to discuss this again, it would be during a party.

Nigel had to leave town to resolve a work issue with Darko, but instead of telling that to Charlie, the blonde lied and said he would accompany his friend while he visited some relatives. As an excuse, he told himself that he was doing it so as not to make his boyfriend more worried than he normally was, as there was no need for that.

Upon returning earlier than expected, Nigel was surprised when he went to find Charlie in the hotel room and his stupid friends inform him that he had gone to a party invited by Sonja. His surprise was due to the fact that Charlie had told him that he had nothing to do that day, but that party story proved otherwise.

After all the disagreements settled between Charlie and Sonja, it had been a while since the two had started a friendly relationship, especially after the boy started going to the club to meet Nigel. Despite knowing that the two would never have anything other than friendship and respect for each other, the blonde was always jealous when he saw his boyfriend talking to the woman he had already fallen in love with once. This jealousy returned, when he learned that she had been the one who invited Charlie to such a party.

Upon arriving at the party site, a house large enough to accommodate several people, Nigel walked to the entrance, but it wasn't long before he was stopped by a man, who he supposed was some kind of security guard. He asked Nigel to present his invitation, otherwise he wouldn't be able to enter, which made the blonde laugh before hitting his head on the man's head, making him fall to the ground.

“Put an fucking ice on that and you'll be as good as new.” he said to the man on the floor, before continuing to walk towards the front door of the house.

Upon entering the house, Nigel ran a hand through his hair, making it go back in a charming way and then look sideways until his eyes meet Charlie's. He smiled happy to see him, even forgetting the anger he felt when he found out about that party.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Nigel greeted him as he approached. “You are looking great.”

While Nigel was wearing very casual clothes, like his white short-sleeved shirt, Charlie was wearing a jacket over his dark shirt, in addition to tying his hair back. Nigel liked to see him with his hair down, but he also couldn't deny that he finds him quite charming like that too.

“Hey, Nigel.” he smiled back, but not looking happy. “How was the trip?” there was something about the voice and the way he said those words that made the blonde understand why the boy was angry.

“I see.” he smiled, standing right in front of the american. “So this is your way of paying me back? Lying to me and going to a fucking party at Sonja's invitation?” the blonde put his hand on a small cabinet behind Charlie, while the two would remain close to each other, facing each other.

“I'm used to people lying to me or thinking I'm an idiot, but I didn't expect you to be one of those people, Nigel.” Charlie watched the surprise and shock in his boyfriend's expression. “How the fuck do you think I felt when someone from the club, whom I don't even remember the fucking name told me that you had gone with Darko to make some kind of deal with a rival group?”

“I didn't want to worry you…”

“That is bullshit and you know it!” he interrupted him, surprising Nigel, as he had never seen him angry like that before. “Otherwise you would not be making that face.”

“What face am I doing, Charlie?” the blonde asked, getting closer, but the american remained in the same place. “Do you want me to apologize? Fine, I fucking do it. Want me to do that on my knees? Not a fucking problem. But please... don't fucking look at me like I have betrayed you or some shit like that.”

“I wouldn't be looking at you like this if you hadn't lie in the first place, Nigel.”

The two were quiet as they faced each other, but were soon interrupted by someone who asked if everything was all right there. Nigel, still keeping his eyes on the boyfriend, told the person to fuck off and that they were talking. When the person insisted again, the blonde laughed, moving away from Charlie a little.

“This guy is really something, right, Charlie?” Nigel took a glass of wine that was on top of the small cabinet and broke it before threatening the person who was bothering them by placing the broken part of the glass on his neck. “What part of the “fuck off” you didn't understand?”

“Nigel, put down that glass, please.” asked Charlie holding his wrist and arm.

“And why the fuck are you fucking defending him?” he questioned confused and angry looking at the boy.

“I'm not fucking defending anyone, Nigel! I don't even know him!” the boy took a deep breath, not believing that that situation had reached that point. “I just don't want you to end up getting into trouble because of me.”

Finally, seeming to hear Charlie, Nigel released the man, who quickly hurried out.

“I'm really sorry, Charlie. I shouldn't have lied to you.” the blonde gets rid of the broken bowl, throwing it somewhere backwards so he can hold the boy's face. “I really don't know what came over me.” he made their foreheads touch. “I was stupid… I…”

“You are not stupid, Nigel.” he also closed his eyes and held the other's hands. “You made a stupid decision, that is all.” both took a deep breath, before moving their foreheads away and look at each other. “I think we both need a drink.” Charlie smiled. “What do you say? Is on me.”

His words reminded Nigel of the first time they spoke, when he himself had offered to pay for the boy's drinks a few hours before they kissed in a dark alley, to then having one of the best fucks he ever had in his life, in a fucking crap hotel room.

“Is everything alright, boys?”

Both surprised by the female voice, they looked in the direction of Sonja who was looking at them a little irritated with folded arms.

“It's always a pleasure see you, dear Sonja.” greeted Nigel using one of his charming smiles, maybe feeling a little intimidated. “Charlie and I were already leaving.” he took the boyfriend by the hand. “Sorry for the little mess…”

“Just go, Nigel, before someone calls the police.” she interrupted him, sighing.

The two said goodbye to her quickly, and Charlie even tried to apologize for all this, but was ignored and so they hurriedly left the house. Sonja took a deep breath, watching them disappear through the window making a mental note to never invite either of them to any party.

The two men went to the first store they found that sold drinks and Charlie bought a reasonable amount of beers, which they would drink while sitting on the steps admiring the night view of the city. Unlike the first one they drank together, this time Nigel was the one who was drinking the fastest. After his fourth bottle, he decided to say something.

“Have you ever thought about going back to America?” he asked, continuing to look at the landscape before them. “Or did you think about living here?”

“A little bit of both, I think.” Charlie replied, taking another sip from his second bottle. “I know I can't keep running away forever, that I'll have to go back there sometime, but…” he stopped talking looking at the bottle in his hand. “I also thought about staying here, with you.”

“Don't give me hopes for something like that, if you don't intend to stick to it, Charlie.”

“I'm serious, Nigel.” he replied, turning to the blonde. “I really thought about staying here, living here, even working on anything around here if that is what I have to do to stay with you.”

“So why do I keep feeling a fucking big "but" at the end of all your lines?” Nigel finally turned to face him. “It's quite simple, Charlie. You don't want to see me die or in any danger, so why don't you ask me to quit my job?”

“If I ask... will you give up?”

“For you? Fucking yeah.” he drank some more of his drink. “It's been a long time since I know I would do anything for you, so honestly... quitting my job is not that difficult.”

“That's the problem. I don't want you to do this for me, because I asked or because you want to please me. I want you to do it for you.” Charlie laughed when he saw the confused expression Nigel gave him. “You like your job and you are good at it. I have no doubt that you would continue on doing it without a second thought if we had never met.” took his bottle and drank some more. “I know I should feel uncomfortable about the criminal and illegal issue of your work, but... it never bothered me.” shrugged. “But when I saw you bleeding... when I had to hold you when you passed out... the hours I stayed by your side waiting for you to wake up…” Charlie finished his bottle. “Funny to think how it probably wouldn't bother me, if I didn't loved you so much.”

Nigel continued to look at his boyfriend in silence, before looking back at the landscape with a sigh. He finished his bottle already taking the next one.

“So, our fucking problem is that we love each other too fucking much?” when he finished saying that he laughed without believing that bullshit and how much it irritates him, precisely because it makes his heart ache. “Did you think our relationship could last?”

“I honestly never expect my relationships to last, because maybe if I don't create expectations it won't hurt that much.” the boy started to answer. “I really wanted our relationship to last, Nigel, I wanted it so badly that I created more expectations than I probably should.” the two faced each other. “If it's worth... I always imagined that you would be the one who would get tired of me.”

Nigel smiled at Charlie, still not understanding why he insisted on not giving himself due value. If he could see himself through his eyes, see how the blonde saw him, he would never think of nonsense like that and who knows, he would smile more often, without having to run away from hallucinations or anything at all.

“Apparently you don't really know me to say fucking nonsense like that.” Nigel drank some more. “Why would I get tired of a gorgeous boy like you?” Charlie laughed happy at that.

As the night continued to pass, the two finished drinking all the drinks before walking to Nigel's apartment, holding hands, feeling the cold air pass through them, preventing them from feeling drunk.

Despite knowing that those moments they spent together would not last, Nigel and Charlie chose to enjoy every second they still had until the day they would have to say their goodbyes. But that does not mean that all of this did not affect them directly or indirectly, either with regard to their feelings or with irrational actions (usually from Nigel).

Nigel had never been the optimistic type, despite feeling something close to that after he started spending his days with that american boy. Even though he was crazily persistent, the only reason he didn't create a bigger mess or a fight over the end of their relationship was because the only person he blamed for this was himself. He loved Charlie and he also knew that the boy loved him, but that was not enough to keep them together, so... he dealt with it in his own way: blaming himself for everything, being an ass with people around and trying deal with all this alone, not wanting Charlie to see him like this.

Opening the door of the club very early in the morning, Darko entered his establishment to be surprised by the presence of Nigel asleep lying on the sofa, surrounded by various types of bottles of drinks either on himself or on the floor.

“So this is where you were hiding, you bastard.” said Darko, frustrated and tired, turning on the office lights and making Nigel groan in anger, turning to hide his face from the light. “I have been looking for you all night, did you fucking know that?”

“Turn off the fucking lights, Darko.” Nigel grunted angrily, in a voice full of sleep and hangover. “Better yet, fuck off.”

“You fucking annoying man! Are you sure you want to spend the rest of the day sleeping and getting drunk at MY club, while your boyfriend is going back to America this afternoon?” he asked, again wondering why he had so much patience with that man that only brought him headaches. “I would have told you yesterday if you hadn't been hiding here.”

“I know.”

“You what?” Darko questioned, unable to understand what the blonde had said.

Nigel took a deep breath before sitting on the sofa, causing the empty bottles that were on him to fall on the floor or roll to another part of the sofa. He had his eyes closed as he ran his hand over his face and his messy hair and then looked at his friend.

“I fucking already know, Darko.” he repeated in an even more irritated tone. “I bought the fucking ticket for him.” the blonde sighed and leaned his back on the sofa, closing his eyes and putting his head back. “I will also take him to the fucking airport when the time is right.”

For a few good seconds, Darko looked at his friend with disbelief and shock, not believing what he just said, much less his behavior. Well, he couldn't deny that his disappearance and the drinks made a lot more sense now, but still, that man, that Nigel was really going to let the person he loved go away just like that?

“What the fuck, Nigel?”

“Shut the fuck up. I don't want to fucking talk about it.” Nigel grunted, putting his arm over his eyes, still feeling uncomfortable by the light. “I don't even want to fucking think about it until I have to pick Charlie up in that fucking crap hotel room.”

“Well, if that was what you wanted then you should have thought of somewhere else to hide, don't you think?” Darko took a chair and placed it in front of the sofa and then sat on it. “I thought things were good between you two, so what happened? Did you lie to him again?”

“What does fucking matter between you knowing or not? It won't change a damn thing and I'm just going to get even more fucking annoyed!” the blonde complained, finally looking at his friend with an angry expression. “It doesn't fucking matter, okay?! It doesn't! It doesn't matter that we both fucking love each other! It doesn't matter that even though we both knew it wouldn't last, we still go on fucking pretend that everything was fucking fine, when clearly nothing was fucking okay!” after shouting all this, Nigel was silent and sighed before looking away from Darko. “So, yeah, Darko, I really don't want to fucking talk about this.”

“Even though you just did it now?” saying that, he saw the blonde give him a furious look. “I can be a bastard for saying that from the beginning I thought you two wouldn't work… But, hey, that's the true.” he said raising his arms in surrender, as Nigel's gaze had only grown angrier. “I get it why you two got along so well, you have a similar worldview, your similar needs, but you didn't exactly inspire the good in each of other to emerge. Not that this is a bad thing, but... I think this is what you need. Charlie too.”

“Fuck, Darko.” Nigel laughed heartily after listening to his friend's speech. “Suddenly, you became an fucking expert in love? Since when? Yesterday?”

“Apparently, you forgot again that I'm married, very happy for over fifteen years.”

“FUCK! You are fucking married?” the blonde exclaimed in surprise before laughing. “Yeah, sorry, I totally fucking forgot about it. Again.”

“I know it's a stupid question, but... are you okay? Are you really okay with all this?”

“No.” was his immediate response, changing his tone to something more sad and tired. “I'm not okay with all of this. Not even close.” took a deep breath and smiled at his friend. “But eventually I will be. Because he and I made a promise and I intend to keep it, even though now I have no desire to do so.”

When it was finally time to pick up Charlie, Nigel was already completely sober, but the brightness of the day still bothered him, so he wore sunglasses since the moment he left Darko's club. 

When Nigel stopped the car in the hotel's parking lot, he walked to Charlie's bedroom door, which was already open, as the boy was saying goodbye to his stupid friends. The blond sighed angrily when he saw the idiot friends whimpering and daring to hug Charlie for a time longer than necessary, but stopped doing that when they saw Nigel right behind the boy.

“Are you ready?” Nigel asked Charlie in a calm tone.

“Yeah.” replied the boy with a small smile, already starting to pick up the backpack that was on the floor, but was surprised when the blonde took the backpack before him.

“I carry it for you.” he said smiling, before putting the backpack on his back and starting to walk away, followed by Charlie, who waved to his friends.

Inside Nigel's car, side by side, watching the streets pass by, Charlie admired the city as this was probably the last time he would see it all. Budapest really was a beautiful city, even more at night because it was at these times that he strolled the most around the city... together with Nigel, whether to eat, just kill time, listen to music sent on the library stairs or kiss in dark alleys.

Thinking about it, Charlie felt tears well up in his eyes, but he quickly hurried to clean them up so Nigel wouldn't notice. He told himself that he had cried enough last night, when he locked himself in Nigel's bathroom completely forgetting that the blonde had the keys to all the apartment doors. The blonde said nothing when he saw him sitting on the bathroom floor crying, just kissed him on the forehead and carried him to the bed where he made him forget everything until he woke up the next morning alone in bed.

“Can we stop by someplace before going to the airport?” he asked, turning his face to Nigel.

“Where you want to go?” he asked without taking his eyes off the road.

“I want to say goodbye to Sonja.” as soon as he heard the woman's name, the blonde made an angry sound. “Please, Nigel? She is as much a friend of mine as she is yours.”

“We're not fucking friends, we just respect each other.” Nigel tried to argue.

“Please?” repeated the boy, using a more persuasive tone, making the other one again make an angry sound, but changing the direction where they were going. “Thank you.” and kissed the blonde's hand as thanks, continuing to hold it until they reach their destination.

With his back against the door of his car, Nigel smoked a cigarette slowly, while watching Charlie talking to Sonja right outside her small house. He greeted her from afar, preferring to leave them talking alone since he didn't feel like talking to anyone.

“It seems that our conversation the other day did not help much.” commented Sonja with crossed arms, looking at Nigel from afar and then at Charlie. “It's really a shame, I was rooting for you two. You were a cute couple. Maybe a little weird, but still cute.” the boy laughed at that and the woman smiled. “Are you really sure, Charlie? It isn't too late to give up all this… whatever the hell this is.”

“Thanks for worrying and for listening to me, but I am sure, Sonja.” he smiled at her. “I have to stop running away from my problems and move on.”

“I would say that you are going to a lesser problem than the one you are leaving here, but who am I to judge?” she sighed as she stared at the sad expression the boy was making. “It will be hell to have to deal with Nigel after you go, but that is not a problem that you will have to deal with anymore, right?”

“You really haven't forgiven me yet, have you?”

“I'm just teasing you a little.” the woman explained herself smiling, and resting her shoulder on the open door. “I think I have that right after being bothered by you all that time.”

“Fair enough.” the boy laughed a little happier. “I'm glad we both managed to become friends after all that.” the two exchanged a friendly hug. “I am going to miss your angry voice scolding me.”

“Yeah, right.” she laughed and the two ended the hug to face each other. “Who's going to put a little judgment on your empty head now? Serious, Charlie. Don't go doing any kind of nonsense in your country, okay?”

“Sonja dear!” they both looked at the woman wearing only a shirt who appeared behind Sonja. “Where did you put the green bowl?”

“In the usual place, in the cabinet above the refrigerator.” after receiving the answer, the woman disappeared again. Returning to face Charlie, Sonja laughed when she saw his surprised expression. “I told you you weren't my type.”

“Right…” he changed his expression when he started thinking about something. “Wait a moment. Does Nigel know about that?” the woman laughed when she heard him say that.

“Sure, he does.” Sonja was still laughing when she leaned her head against the door. “But that does not stop him from being jealous.” she paused. “And you wouldn't understand about that, because poor Nigel has eyes only for you.”

“Don't call him like that.” he asked in a more serious tone. “I thought you two respected each other.”

“Well? What a nice surprise!” Sonja said in an excited voice. “You feel jealous too.”

“So you don't like men?” Charlie quickly changed the subject.

“Well, there are some exceptions, in fact…” the woman stopped talking and looked in Nigel's direction and then looked back at the boy. “I definitely would have tried to have something with Nigel just by looking at that beautiful face, but, unfortunately, he has a temper too complicated for me. Besides, I don't like cigarettes.”

For several seconds, Charlie just stared at her in shock and surprise when he realized how little he knew about that woman even though he was once in love with her.

“You really are full of surprises, Sonja.”

“You don't even know half, Charlie.” she said defiantly, with a cheeky smile.

The two were silent, as they did not know what else to say to each other, so the boy realized that the time had come to go. Especially if he didn't want to miss the flight.

“Well then… I guess we will see around.”

“Oh! I almost forgot.” remembering something, Sonja approached him. “Don't move.” after asking this, she held his face with both hands and began to analyze him as if looking for something.

“What are you doing?” Charlie asked with a little fear, because despite being friends now there were still moments when he was afraid of what she could do.

Upon receiving a kiss from her on the cheek, Charlie's eyes widened in surprise even after she released him and smiled at him satisfied with herself, because a perfect mark of her lipstick had been on the american's skin.

“My parting gift for you.” she smiled politely. “You're welcome.”

“You want him to kill me, don't you?” on hearing him say that, Sonja laughed.

“Nigel would never do that, not even in a million years. I know that and so do you.” she winked at him and smiled ruffling his hair. “Trust me. You will thank me for doing this later. The man in love with you is very predictable.” this time she looked at him sadly. “Good luck, Charlie.” walked away and closed the door.

Upon returning to the car, Charlie saw Nigel smoke some of his cigarette before dropping it on the floor and stepping on it. He was about to open the car door when he was stopped by the blonde's arms, who pulled him to stand in front of him.

“You don't really think you're going to get in my car with that fucking lipstick mark on your face, do you?” asked Nigel, holding him by the chin and turning the boy's face to get a better look at the mark and grit his teeth. “Fucking Sonja.” curiously, he already had a handkerchief in his hand, which he used to clean the mark until there was no trace left of it. “What the hell did you two fucking talk about so she ended up fucking doing this?” Charlie opened his mouth to answer, but the blonde continued to speak. “You know what, I don't want to fuck know.”

When he finished speaking, Nigel brought the boy's face close to him and kissed in the same region where the lipstick mark had been. Not feeling that this was enough, he continued to kiss Charlie's entire face until at last he made their lips touch in a sweet kiss, which gradually increased in intensity until they both needed to separate to breathe.

“There. Much better.” he smiled when their noses touched slightly. “Try to be more careful next time, all right?”

“Yeah.” Charlie replied almost in a whisper, opening his eyes to look at Nigel. “I will.”

“I think we better get going before you miss your flight.” Nigel spoke, smiling sadly, then kissed the boy's forehead and released him to open the car door for him.

At the airport, it ended up that there were a few minutes left before Charlie's time to get on the plane, so the two talked near the entrance where the american would have to go in a few minutes. Nigel asked the boy if he had not forgotten anything, even listing several things he could have forgotten in the apartment or in the hotel room, but Charlie said he hadn't forgotten anything. Apparently he had already checked things out at least four times.

“Oh! I almost forgot.” the american, placed the backpack on the floor and with both hands removed the silver necklace from the neck with the spare key to the blonde's apartment. “Here. Your key.”

Nigel, still wearing his sunglasses, stared at the key Charlie was offering him and again feeling that fucking annoying pain in his chest. As if he couldn't fucking breathe, which was too stupid to fucking think about.

“Keep it.” that's what he finally said, pushing the boy's hand towards his chest. “Do what you want with it, it's not like I will fucking need it.”

A little surprised, Charlie smiled and nodded, putting the necklace back on his neck.

“I have something for you, Charlie.” Nigel said in a different tone of voice, which made the american look at him curiously. The blonde offered him a small black box. “I just wanted you to have something that would make you remember me.” he approached Charlie and placed the box in his two hands. “Come on. Open it.”

The box was a little heavy, but the boy had no idea what it could be, especially as it was a choice made by Nigel, so he opened the box and, recognizing the gold-handled weapon he had used to train his aim on the roof, Charlie felt nostalgic and shocked when he remember where they were. At an airport where it was obviously prohibited to carry weapons. He quickly closed the box and looked angry and scared at the blonde who was smiling.

“What the fuck were you thinking, Nigel?!” despite knowing that no one had seen the gun, Charlie began to look everywhere. “Why are you giving this to me? When I'm about to get on a fucking plane!”

“Easy, Charlie.” Nigel continued to smile, clearly enjoying the whole situation. “It's all right. The security guys work for me, so you can safely enter with the gun.” on hearing him say that, the american laughed. “I'm more concerned with your country's customs. They are more fucking annoying about this. Maybe you should take it apart before landing there.”

“You are unbelievable.”

“You haven't read what's written on the gun yet.” the blonde looked at the boy's surprised expression, before watching him discreetly opening the box and seeing that there was actually something written on the handle.

“For my gorgeous boy. Love, Nigel.”

“You really are a fucking mean person.” Charlie said irritably, closing the box because he knew he would probably start crying if he continued to stare those words.

“You're the one leaving, Charlie.” said Nigel, using a cold tone with the boy for the first time.

“And you are not trying to stop me.”

The two looked at each other seriously for a few seconds, before Nigel took a deep breath and finally responded to the other's provocation.

“No, I am not.” the blonde confessed in a sad tone. “I guess we are both disappointed with each other then.” he crossed his arms while Charlie put the box in his backpack.

The two remained silent for a while, until the boy looked at Nigel and started to move his head from side to side as if looking for something in the blonde's face.

“The fuck you are doing, Charlie?” the blonde questioned angrily.

“Trying to see your eyes.” he replied and then looked at him seriously. “I want to see them before I go.” despite having heard him perfectly, Nigel remained silent. “Please?”

Taking a long breath, the blonde stopped keeping his arms crossed and then removed his sunglasses. His brown eyes started to get used to the clarity, still slightly damaged by the drinks he had last night and perhaps for other reasons that Nigel would never say out loud.

“Happy?” he asked, still not looking at the boy, hanging his glasses on his shirt.

Perhaps surprising both of them, Charlie hugged Nigel by holding on to him so tightly that the blonde hugged him unconsciously in concern. As if he could finally breathe, Nigel closed his eyes and ran a hand through the boy's curly hair. Charlie had also closed his eyes, but his hands were clinging to the other's clothes, as if he were afraid of him disappearing.

“How can I be happy, Nigel?” he whispered in a sad tone. “Just because I'm not crying like yesterday, it doesn't mean I'm fine.” Charlie laughed sadly. “Thanks for the gun. I fucking love it, because it's so like you and I will definitely think of you every time I look at it.”

Feeling the boy's heart beating over his was all Nigel needed to feel completely relaxed, telling himself that everything was fine, that Charlie was going to be okay, as he was returning to his place, away from all that fucking mess that people like Nigel always brought.

“You are going to be fine, won't you? You promised me.”

The blonde laughed at the thought that those were very contradictory words coming from someone who was leaving because he believed that sooner or later he would die because of work. Still, he didn't want to discuss it again with the american. No, Nigel had other things to say.

“We're both going to be fine, Charlie.” Nigel replied back, opening his eyes, still with his hand in the other's hair. “That was the promise we made. So... you keep your part and I... I will keep mine.” unable to resist, he kissed the other's head before letting go and facing each other. “Goodbye, my gorgeous boy. Take care of yourself.”

“You too.” the two smiled at each other. “Goodbye, Nigel.”

Nigel watched Charlie walk away from him and walk to the entrance where he presented his passports while casting another look in his direction. In that instant, he remembered the first time he saw the boy from a distance sitting at the bar at the club, clearly as if it had happened yesterday. The part he remembered most was the strange desire for the american to look in his direction. Just like he was doing right now.

No matter how much it hurt, Nigel would not regret meeting Charlie if it were just able to see him look at him that way. Even though he was not happy, the blonde smiled at the boy, who smiled back before disappearing from view.

\- Some years later -

[New York]

As the leaves of the autumn trees slowly fall down the city streets, making most people admire their beauty while others were too preoccupied with other things to have time to do so. One such person was Charlie, who carried two brown shopping bags, reasonably heavy, as he walked down the street trying to get home before an impending disaster happened.

He again cursed himself mentally for being too stubborn not to go to the supermarket by car, as he did not want to catch traffic. Now he had to bear the consequences and take those safe and sound purchases home.

It was then that he saw that the laces of his tennis strangely took off and now it was swinging from side to side periously, like a premonition regarding his future fall on the floor along with all his purchases.

“Shit!” he cursed, stopping walking and looking at his purchases he was holding, for his sneakers, not knowing what exactly he should do.

Perhaps the best solution was to put the purchases on the floor and tie the shoelaces, but he was afraid that if he did that, his purchases would end up out of the bag.

“Here. Allow me.” an unknown man bent down in front of him and apparently started to tie his shoelaces.

“Ah, you really don't need…” Charlie did not finish speaking, because when he tried to move down he almost dropping his purchases. “Thanks for doing that.” the man started to get up after he had finished tying the laces. “You didn't need to bo-” he stopped talking when he looked at the face of the man in front of him.

“Hello, Charlie.” Nigel greeted smiling, still so beautiful and charming like the last time he had seen him at the airport. “It's been a while.” the blonde looks away from Charlie's eyes to his hair. “I see you cut your hair.”

“Nigel.” he said his name, feeling a pleasant nostalgia and still surprised, not believing that man was really there, in front of him. “Yeah... it's been a while. What are you doing here? Here! In the United States!”

“Some things happened in Budapest after you left and I was forced by Darko to move to this country.” the blonde counted happily, smiling. “I was fucking impressed when I realized that here is not as bad as I imagined. The food, for example, is soo much fucking better.” he paused, thinking of something that made him happy. “What about you?” laughed looking at the shopping bags. “Shopping?”

“Oh, yeah, I went shopping because I'm going to have lunch with my stepfather.” Charlie replied, ending up also remembering that they had already gone through a similar situation in the past. “And you?”

“Just killing time while I wait for my husband.” saying this, Nigel ended up showing the ring on his finger, looking to the side, surprising Charlie not only because he was married now, but also because he saw his face flush a little. Something he had never seen before. “We live in California, but he had to attend a conference here related to work, so I came along.”

“This explains why you look more tanned.” Charlie smiled, happy to see that Nigel really was fine, alive, and happy. That it was not a dream. “Congratulations, Nigel. I didn't think you were the type to get marry, but... I'm glad I was wrong.”

“Too much responsibility for me?”

“Maybe…” after saying that, the two laughed together like old friends.

“You look better, Charlie.” he said when the two faced each other. “Glad to see that. And that you kept your part of the promise.”

“I can say the same thing about you.” the boy laughed, realizing something unbelievable. “Is it just me or you really don't smell like cigarettes anymore?”

“I fucking quit!” the blonde said very proud of himself, but laughed when he saw the other's expression of doubt. “Fine, I've been trying to quit. Adam doesn't like the smell and he is always concerned about my health, so…”

“He's right, you know? I'm glad to know that someone is taking care of you.” he spoke with all sincerity, enjoying watching Nigel make decisions for himself. “Neither of us knew how to take care of ourselves before and together we were even crazier then.”

“You are fucking right, but we had a lot of fun, didn't we?”

“Yes. We did.” the two watched each other for a few seconds before Charlie asked something. “Do you have any regrets?” upon hearing that, the blonde smiled.

“Fucking none.” he put his hands in his pants pockets. “The good and the bad... if all that was what I had to fcuking go through to be where I am... No, I don't regret any fuck thing at all.” Nigel looked at him curiously. “And you?”

“After today... I also don't regret anything.” he paused while arranging the purchases he had in hand. “I have to go, but... it was really good to meet you, Nigel.”

“You too, Charlie.” the blonde messed up the boy's head and smiled with satisfaction. “I'm glad we met. Be a good boy and continue to take care of yourself, okay?” said as he watched Charlie start to walk away from him.

“Very funny. Good luck giving up cigarettes.”

“I FUCKING WILL.” he shouted back and they both laughed, away from each other.

Watching the boy walk away, Nigel took one of the star-shaped gummy candies Adam had given him to eat from his pocket whenever he felt like smoking. Apparently it had become one of his new addictions.

“Who was that?”

“Fuck!” Nigel cursed loudly with the shock he got when noticed that Adam was right behind him. Sometimes he even doubted that Adam was really human due to the fact that he managed so easily not to make any noise in his steps. “Don't scare me like that, Adam!”

“Who was that, Nigel?” the youngest insisted on knowing.

Adam was a man about the same age as Nigel, but he still managed to keep a young, innocent face as if the years meant nothing to him. His short brown hair made him look more angelic (his face and manner already did that) and his bright blue eyes were probably one of the most beautiful things Nigel had ever seen in his life. 

There was something about them, something that the blonde couldn't describe even if he had a vast vocabulary, especially when he started talking nonstop about the things he loved: the stars, space, his macaroni and cheese, his astronaut outfit, his telescope and his husband.

“Apparently the conference was not that good for you to be using that tone.” commented Nigel looking closely at his husband. “That was Charlie, my ex. I already told you about him, didn't I? We coincidentally ended up meeting here. Curious, don't you think? I didn't think I would see him again.”

“Oh.” was Adam's answer, without looking at his husband. “I see.”

“Wait… are you jealous?”

“Jealousy is an emotional state of the human being, caused by the lack of exclusivity of feeling, dedication and care of the person with whom one likes. It presents itself as a complex reaction of any individual to a perceived threat to something he has, such as a valuable relationship or one that is appreciated. Usually, jealousy is manifested in a lack of confidence in the feeling of the other, which is transformed into fear of losing the partner.” and, as usual, Adam said all this without stopping to breathe, looking charmingly like a walking dictionary that Nigel would like to hug and never let go. “Is that what you are suggesting is happening between us?”

“Well, when you put it like that…” Nigel wanted to distract him enough to kiss him on the lips, because he had missed him, but he was also curious to see his husband jealous, something that usually didn't happen.

“I'm not jealous, Nigel.” Adam was silent, looking down, spinning his wedding ring, a habit he acquired after they got married whenever he was thinking about something and wondering whether or not to say it. “Did you guys have sex? Back when you were still together.”

Surprised by the question, Nigel laughed, but soon stopped when he received a serious look from Adam. Instead of answering the question, the blonde approached his husband and returned the question.

“Did you have sex with that Becky?”

“It's Beth, you know that, but you make that mistake of purpose because you are still angry with her for the way she broke up with me.” as he spoke, the blonde listened carefully, but ran his hands through his hair, enjoying feeling it in his fingers. “And yes, because we were dating at the time.” Adam paused and blinked several times, understanding why Nigel had asked that question. “Oh.”

“I see that you have understood your own contradiction.” Nigel smiled and kissed his hair, unable to contain himself. “So? Why did you ask?”

“I wanted you to deny it.” upon hearing this, the blonde laughed and held his face, making their eyes meet.

“You are not making sense, dear Adam.”

“I know.” the youngest, put his hand over the other's, continuing to face him. Nigel was the only person he could really look into, even if only for a few seconds. “And this is happening more often.” he smiled in that innocent and happy way, looking like an fucking beautiful angel. "I think my feelings for you make me unconsciously think and say things that make me go against the logic of all the things I believe in." after saying that, he blinked his eyes when he saw Nigel close his eyes and place his hand on his chest. “Are you going to have a heart attack?”

“Can love make me have a fucking heart attack?”

“Don't be ridiculous of course it can't… Oh! You are flirting.” all of his worry disappeared completely when Adam smiled feeling satisfied with himself for having realized his husband's intentions faster than usual.

“I always flirt with you, darling, but thanks for noticing.”

Nigel pulled him close by the waist, and tilted the head in his direction, finally kissing Adam on the lips, something he had wanted to do since he arrived. While the two were kissing, trying not to deepen it for something more serious since they were in public, Adam returned the kiss, pulling him towards him by placing his hand on Nigel's neck. The stars that the youngest always spoke... the blonde could only see and feel them perfectly when they did that. Adam, despite not understanding when he said that, he smiled every time.

“Now, tell me the names of the people who pissed you off at this conference for me to add to my list of people I need to kill.” said Nigel, with his arm around Adam's shoulders, as the two walked down the street in the opposite direction that Charlie had gone. “That fucking guy with the funny mustache... will definitely be at the fucking top of the list.”

“Mr. Zeller did not attend the conference because he caught the flu.” Adam hadn't even finished saying that and Nigel was already happily celebrating for the unhappiness of the man who had dared not to accept his husband's perfect thesis, which had taken months and several sleepless nights to do. “And you shouldn't say these things out loud because someone may not understand and think that you are serious...”

“I am serious.”

“And killing people is not a good thing and it will only end up making you be arrested and I don't want us to be separated because of such nonsense like that.” Adam looked at his husband. “You promised that we will always be together, so don't say you're going to kill someone. Not even for me.”

“You always take things too seriously, my star.” realizing that his words had caused his husband discomfort, Nigel kissed him on the head. “I'm not going to kill anyone and I'm definitely not going to let anything separate us, okay? But, I'm angry that the conference made you sad.”

“I'm not sad. I already knew that the conference was going to be full of people, confused conversations and people laughing at things that I didn't understand.” he took a deep breath, relieved that he was no longer there. “But I had to come and attend the conference.”

“No, you fucking didn't have to.” insisted Nigel, feeling even more angry at the thought of his husband having to deal with all that alone. “You should have fucking told me, because now we would be at home watching those documentaries that you like so much, for later having fun in our room forgetting even the rest of world exists.” he whispered seductively in Adam's ear and then bit his ear lightly and kissed his cheek.

“I had to come, Nigel.” he insisted seriously, just smiling because of the affection he was receiving. “It was a job issue and I also had to meet with Mr. Wilson, from the Star Records…” stopped talking when he noticed something. “That was supposed to be a secret until the right time.” he laughed annoyed with himself. “I don't like secrets, but I wanted to surprise you. Harlan said it was a great idea, but I shouldn't have listened to him and just…”

“Calm down, Adam.” stopping walking, Nigel took him by the shoulders and made him face him. “It's all right. What was supposed to be a secret?”

“I found a new star, but I needed Mr. Wilson's permission to be able to give your name to it.”

Now it was Nigel's turn to blink several times, confused.

“I'm sorry, my darling, but… you're going to have to repeat what you said because I'm sure I heard you wrong.” the blonde smiled and laughed nervously. “You fucking give my fucking name to a fucking star?”

“There is no need to curse so much, but yes. I gave.” after saying this Adam smiled at his husband and held him by the face, to kiss him lightly. “But it was supposed to be a surprise. A gift for your birthday.”

“Adam… my fucking birthday is only next year.”

“I know that. I have never forgotten your birthday since the day you told me when it was. I have a good memory, you know that.” Adam removed his hands from his face and held his hand, pulling him forward so they could continue walking. “But I found the star last month and if I didn't hurry to give it a name soon, someone could do it before me, so I had no choice but to hide it from you and come to this conference, even though I knew that I wouldn't like it, to meet with Mr. Wilson, from the Star Records, and ask personally for his permission to give your name to the st…” he stopped talking when he felt his husband's arms wrap around him in a tight embrace behind his back, where Nigel hid his face on Adam's shoulder.

“You gave my fucking name to a star…” the blonde whispered in a tone full of emotions.

“Yes, Nigel.” Adam started to run his hand through his blond hair. “I like to say your name and I think he's a wonderful name, so of course I gave your name to a star. Well, the star literally doesn't have your name because all the stars have to be named in Latin so it was registered as “Stella Nigellus”, which mean "Nigel's Star" in english.”

“I fucking love you so much, Adam.” Nigel was not happy at that moment when he could feel the tears coming out of his eyes. “And you fucking know that, don't you?”

“I know.” he smiled, still running his hands through his husband's hair. “But I like it when you tell me that. Every day.” Adam didn't care about the looks they received from people on the street, but he could tell by the color of the sky that it was getting dark. “Nigel? Nigel? We have to go. It's getting dark and I want to see the stars with you.”

“Give me another five minutes.” Nigel asked, still with his face on the other's shoulder, while hugging him. “I fucking still haven't fully recovered.”

“All right.”

Exactly five minutes later, Nigel took the face off his shoulder and stopped hugging his husband, holding now in his hand as they started walking again. Adam started talking about the stars that were most visible in New York City, also telling his favorites ones and Nigel listened to him smiling, grateful to have met him and fell in love with his angel.


End file.
